Find Fulfillment by Forty

August Recap and Back to School

2010-09-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Goodness, I've been away longer than I intended!!

August was an exciting month. My daughter spent the better part of the month with her cousins and my in-laws, so I spent a lot of the month solo, going to work and coming home to an empty apartment. I lived off the farm share. I read books. I bought a thirty pound box of organic tomatoes from our CSA farm and made/froze seven quarts of tomato sauce.

September has been busy as well. My daughter is starting school. I bought a twenty-five pound box of peaches (waiting to be canned).

And then this morning, I got a call from my BFF at 6am. She often calls early, but not that early, so I knew something was up.

What was up: Her father had a stroke at 5am this morning.

So my day was spent at the hospital with her mom, waiting to find out something. We still really don't know anything about how things look long-term. But I felt thoroughly ashamed that I spent so much time this morning obsessing over whether or not I had gained half a pound. Tonight I am holding my breath, waiting to find out more information about my friend's dad. He is not old--only in his 60s. My parents are in their 60s.

It got me thinking about mindfulness and gratitude in my life. I am lucky to have my parents, that they are still in good health. I am lucky to have my own health. Day-to-day though, it is difficult to remember to be grateful about that. It's far easier to take health for granted and be annoyed with carrying an extra 5 lbs instead of happy about the good blood work that just came back from the doctor.

I've also been watching The Big C on Showtime, where Laura Linney plays a woman who has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. As a result, she up-ends her life and stops doing what she has always done because it was expected. Her carefully crafted conservative self goes out the window.

All of this is resonating with me as I approach 40. I recently read some of Formerly Hot, and parts of that resonate as well. I'm not 25 anymore. I'm not even 35 anymore--but my brain hasn't really caught up with that. I'm not getting younger and while I'm certainly not old, no amount of exercise, diet, lotion or makeup is going to take away the effects of childbirth, sleep deprivation, and the many other stresses I have experienced in the last 5-10 years.

So where does that leave me? Still figuring things out. Still looking for me, still figuring out me now vs. me then. And trying to enjoy life in the meantime.

New York, New York

2010-08-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

I was going through a period of time where I was really, really missing living in NYC, so I sat down to make a list of all the things I missed about NYC.

Guess what I discovered?

I don't miss NYC as much as I think I do. I couldn't come up with that many things I truly miss about the city. Here's what I miss:

1. Being able to walk everywhere
I hate having to get in the car for everything. I miss the exercise. I miss the ability to do ten errands on the way home from the subway.

2. Food
I miss my lunch options, especially now that my lunch options are lame corporate cafeteria, McD's and Subway. I miss my delivery options. I miss my grocery options (and my grocery delivery).

3. I miss people. I miss our phenomenal nanny. I miss having a great group of people more or less in my age range that I worked with. I miss my Pilates instructor.

But I don't miss the expense of the city, the long work hours, the small living quarters, the smell of urine on the streets and in the subways, people who don't curb their dogs, etc.

I think I miss the routine I had down to a science, the ease of being in a place so walkable, and the comfort of home. Funny, since I'm back where I grew up--but I guess 13 years as an adult in one city is nothing to sneeze at.

So I've been feeling a bit out of sorts, but I'm trying to work through it.

Birthday Wisdom?

2010-07-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday. 38 years ago, I was coming into the world.

It seems impossible to me, that I have been alive for 38 years. I don't feel like I've collected the wisdom that 38 years should bring. And at the same time, it makes me feel a bit morbid--none of us know when we're going to die, but the longer you live, the higher the likelihood that it is closer. I don't know if I'll live another sixty years or only another sixty days. I certainly hope it is a good long time I have left, but there are no guarantees.

I guess this all makes me appreciate life and the world and the things that I do have. So here are some thoughts I've had and some tidbits of wisdom that I've learned along the way.

1. Let it go

It isn't worth it to hold a grudge, to obsess over the petty. Sometimes it is hard to remember this. I've certainly wasted plenty of time obsessing over minute details or perceived slights, but I like to think that as I get older
I spend less time dwelling on the little things that don't really matter.

2. It's good to remember where you came from

I recently attended my 20 year high school reunion, and to my delighted surprise, it was a blast. We often get so caught up in our achievements, our daily grind, our ambitions and our adult lives that we forget who we
once were, what we once laughed over or loved. It is very grounding, and it can feel very good to spend time with family or friends that date back to elementary school or high school.

3. Take care of your teeth

This one comes from my great-aunt, who passed away two years ago in her mid-nineties. She always told me to take care of my teeth, and I've heeded her advice. I made a New Year's resolution many years back to floss every
day, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've broken it. Think about it: how much does your mouth hurt for days if you bite your cheek? It interferes with eating, drinking, teeth brushing and is generally very annoying
until it heals. Now imagine having painful cavities, root canals, dentures that might get food stuck or rub uncomfortably. Take care of your teeth.

4. Exercise to feel good, not just to look hot

When I first started exercising, I admit it was because I wanted to look better. But then I quickly realized how much better it was making me feel...and how lousy I felt when I stopped for a while. Exercise really is a great mood lifter, improves your metabolism, your immune system and your overall health. My father is a prime example of this--he has never gotten sick when my mom and my brother and I would catch a virus--and he still doesn't. He's a lifelong runner and outdoor enthusiast, and he has more endurance and energy than others half his age. So start exercising because you want to look hot, but don't quit if you don't see immediate results. Even if you NEVER see the results you hope for in the form of six-pack abs, you'll still reap a ton of benefits from regular exercise.

5. Figure out what is most important to YOU

There are plenty of marketing departments in the world working 'round the clock to convince you of what is important: great hair, fashionable clothing, rat-sized dogs in expensive ugly purses, fancy cars, big houses, who you know, being "green",eating local, eating organic, blah blah blah. Never mind all that. It's hard to wade through the noise, but figure out what is truly important to you. Not to your neighbor, your rival at work, the person on the treadmill next to you at the gym, your mom--you. It is time to set aside all the voices in your head of your parents or the kids you went to school with that tell you you'll never make any money as an English major or you're weird for liking to read more than playing softball. You only have to live with
yourself and your own choices, so try to make them based on what you find important.

That's all I've got tonight.

Only two years left

2010-07-28T18:16:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 38.

When I started this blog a year ago, I wanted to use it as a way of defining, exploring and identifying apath to fulfillment. And I think I certainly have explored what I find fulfilling and not so fulfilling, tried new things, been harried and scattered and written a lot of different kinds of blog posts, from
health and fitness to book review to parenting to random life posts.

Here's what I have learned so far:

1. I am not a food blogger

Don't get me wrong. I love food. I love talking about food, thinking about food and posting about food. But I am not naturally a photographer, and I have to remind myself to take pictures of what I'm eating and post them. Also, I am the mother of a three year old, so most of my meals do not have the presentation that makes a food blog exciting. They are more likely to have crayons in the background or paint on the table.

2. I am not a twenty-something

As much as I enjoy reading the blogs of food/fitness bloggers such as Eat Live Run or Healthy Tipping Point, and even though I relate to things in those blogs, that really shouldn't be what my blog is about. If I had a blog when I was in my mid-to-late twenties, it would have looked a lot like these blogs. I ran races, I ate out, I met up with people from the internet. But I'm not there any more. It's challenging for me to find my own blogidentity (blogdentity?) when I
read blogs like this all the time, but I am working on it. I think I'm mentally getting to a place where I understand what my blog focus is.

3. Focus

As I mentioned, my blog posts have been a bit all over the place. It's all been part of finding my blogdentity, and that's okay. But now that I have gotten to a place where I have an idea of what that is, I need to stay the course. It's sort of like if you are a fiction writer, and you've found your voice--but then you read a really wonderful book, and you start to notice your latest chapter has a different tone because you're being influenced by your reading material. I want my voice to come through on the blog. Not anyone else's, because that's not the story I'm here to narrate.

So I think 2010--2011 will be a different year on the blog. Also, in exciting announcements, I am now writing a book column on Examiner.com. You can find my column at Albany Books Examiner So far? Great fun!

AWOL

2010-07-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't plan on disappearing for five days. My daughter's BFF came up this weekend, which was great--and had that been the end of my weekend, I would have had a lovely recap post.

Unfortunately, my Sunday was capped by Stomach Evil!

As we finished dinner on Sunday night, I thought "Wow, I ate too much. I feel really stuffed." We cleaned up, packed up and headed for home.
In the car on the way home, I went from "I ate too much" to "I don't feel so hot" to "I might have to throw up out the window". Most unpleasant.

When we got home, I got in my pjs(it was 8:00) and crawled into bed with a basin and a glass of water by my side, praying that it would all just Go Away.

Alas, it was not to be. Sunday night through Monday morning was miserable, followed by the Monday of Great Unconsciousness, followed by the Tuesday of diluted apple juice and Saltines. I finally went back to work today, but my food intake was abysmal. I ate dinner tonight, but judging from the sounds my guts are making, I'm not sure I didn't rush things a bit.

So no exciting meals or exercise of any kind to report.

On the plus side, I lost a couple pounds (probably water, which will be back in a day) and hey, I kicked caffeine! I'd been toying with the idea of getting off coffee for a while, and I figured two days of non-consumption and sleeping all day was a two-day free pass toward going cold turkey. I wasn't about to put coffee in my poor tender stomach first thing this morning, so now I'm three days caffeine-free! The headache yesterday was brutal, but today was better and I think I might make it.

I'm going to be taking it easy the next couple days. No exercise, easily digested meals until I am sure I'm clear of this thing. I might have an exciting announcement in a few days though! WooT!

Chococalcilicious!

2010-07-16T12:14:00.001-07:00

Adora chocolate calcium supplements are the best thing! Where have these been all my genetically predisposed to osteoporosis life?

Foul Crankiness

2010-07-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

So my daughter wet the bed at 3am. This would not be any big deal except that she refused to go back to sleep. So of the last four nights, I only slept through one. The other two involved stretches of awakeness between 2 and 4 am.

I am a raging bitch today. For me, anyway. I'm tired, pissed that I missed yet another workout, and generally cranky.

So naturally I'm at the DMV getting my license renewed. I figure I might as well get all the crankiness done at once.

Off to a Good Start

2010-07-14T03:59:00.000-07:00

I had a good run at the gym, though it was slow. My ITB and AT (on opposite sides) are tight, so I am going to need to pay attention to stretching.

My stats:

Mile 1: 10:56
Mile 2: 10:25
Mile 3: 10:00

I did some stretching, and I'll probably ice my right AT just to be safe.
Now I need a shower!!

Weigh-in Wednesday and an Experiment

2010-07-14T02:02:00.000-07:00

Good morning friends!

I was pretty nervous about weighing in this morning, since I've felt more committed to my eating plan in the past week than I have in a while. I haven't, however, been getting in my exercise--mostly due to lack of sleep.

Happily, I am down about a pound just on the eating thing, so if I can get the exercise rolling again, I should see ongoing results! I hope.

Which brings me to my new experiment...with my sleep!

For the next thirty days, I am going to follow the principles Steve Pavlina and Leo Babauta of Zen Habits recommend for getting out of bed in the morning. I am going to get up at the same time every day, seven days a week, and let my body tell me when to go to bed each night.

Now last night, I'm sure I was tired, but I stayed up reading and watching TV. I think once I am getting up every AM, I won't keep doing this--or I will be miserable. But I did get right out of bed this morning, and before the alarm!

My goal is to get up at 5am every day and eat a small pre-exercise snack while doing some writing for half an hour, and then go to the gym/go for a run. If I can establish this as a habit, then I'd like to back up my wake-up time until I can get in an hour of writing every morning. It will also be good come winter, when I need to get time in front of the lightbox every morning.

We'll see how that goes!

In other positive developments, my daughter slept through the night! Yay! Her dad put her to bed last night (her request), and I wonder if that helped? She also ate a good dinner though, and I'm pretty sure that is an important piece of the puzzle.

I think that's all I've got for this morning. I'm almost finished reading American Wife, and I'm also reading Josephine Tey's Miss Pym Disposes, which is a British mystery. I'm not sure what will be up after those. I need to update my sidebar (oops).

It rained heavily last night, so I think a trail run is out this morning. I'm off to the gym to put in some time on the treadmill and probably also the elliptical.

Happy Humpday!

Tired Tuesday

2010-07-13T16:29:00.000-07:00

The rest of Tuesday was much better. I ate leftover baked tofu and roasted veggies for lunch, took my daughter for her first new pediatrician appointment, and got some work done.

When I got home, no one was here! Unlike the last time that happened, where I kept wondering/worrying where they were, this time I took a glass of wine and my book out to the deck and read until they got home. K and her dad had gone for a walk.

We had a throw-together dinner of pink beans and yellow rice with avocado, and now K is having a bath. She ordered me out and said she only wanted dad to sit in the bathroom with her, so they're hanging out.

I'm going to try again for a run tomorrow morning. I hope tonight K will FINALLY sleep all night. Fingers crossed!

Bleah!

2010-07-13T06:42:00.000-07:00

My daughter was up from 3-4:30am. When I went to sleep again at 4:45 I seriously considered just getting up and going to the gym, but I chose sleep.

Then I drove around looking for a place to park b/c I thought I had no cashfor the pay lot and ended up late.
I hope that's the end of my Tuesday woes!

Dinner Results

2010-07-12T16:26:00.003-07:00

Okay, so here's the breakdown:

Roasted Vegetables? Awesome

Baked Tofu? Pretty good. Would be even more better if marinated more than ten seconds.

Photo? Not so hot. Definitely lacking something in the setting department, and even more in the effort department. Brown rice was consumed, but is not pictured.

Oh, and marinade spilling onto the edge of the cookie sheet and burning into a bubbly mess and smoking? Not so cool.

But dinner was yum. I couldn't finish my tofu and rice, so the leftovers will make a fine lunch tomorrow.

Monday, Monday

2010-07-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

After a low-key Sunday (swimming, trail hiking with a three year-old), I had Monday morning exercise FAIL. My daughter was up from 2-3:30AM so three hours of sleep followed by two hours of sleep just didn't look that good to me.

So I had three hours of sleep followed by three and a half hours of sleep. Bleah.

I took a nice brisk 30 minute walk at lunch in an attempt to get SOME exercise, and I'll try again tomorrow. I had good meals, which I did not take pictures of. For some reason, I suck at this.

I tried overnight oats for the first time!! I mixed 1/2c of old-fashioned Quaker Oats with 1/2c of Stonyfield Organic plain fat-free yogurt last night, and this morning I added 1/2c of farmer's market blueberries and 1/2c of strawberries. I was skeptical, but it was delicious!

Lunch was a giant salad, and I mean GIANT--but most of its size was an enormous bed of organic mixed greens. Other ingredients included 1/2 avocado, 1/2 green pepper, 1/2 cucumber and some grape tomatoes with Annie's goddess dressing on top. I also had a tuna pouch--love these, and I wonder why they stopped making the 3oz version of the salmon ones? I can find 2.5oz (Bumblebee!) albacore tuna pouches, but they only seem to make 5-6oz salmon. Boo.

Tonight I have some of my CSA veggies roasting in the oven with some olive oil and sea salt--orange pepper, red onion, zucchini, yellow squash, portabella mushroom and fennel! Yum! I am also making my first attempt at baking tofu. I mixed soy sauce, honey, sesame oil, thinly sliced scallions, and sesame seeds and dipped the tofu in.

Maybe I'll take pictures, and I'll definitely report back. Tomorrow AM I am thinking of a trail run!

Weekend!

2010-07-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

We were up early around here, despite the rainy weather this morning. We got three loads of laundry done AND hit the farmer's market all before 9:30!

The farmer's market was pretty busy despite the weather--but not so photo-friendly.
We got ground bison (low-fat! high-protein!), peaches, blueberries, whole-wheat sunflower flax millet bread, wild black raspberries, and a quart of maple syrup (for certain three-year olds who love their pancakes).

Then I dropped K off at home and hit the grocery store for the other stuff--tempeh, veggie burgers, beans, melon, tomatoes, mushrooms, strawberries, yogurt, cheese.

By lunchtime the rain had stopped, but it was still pretty muggy. K is having her first Disney marathon over here, enjoying her first exposure to the videos I have from 15+ years ago. I suppose this will commence the princess phase of preschool.

Around 3pm, both she and her dad were napping, so I went out for a run. It was HOT!
Over 80 degrees and sooo muggy. Still, I'm trying to stick to more exercise and also to run outside more while the weather is decent (instead of treadmilling it, which I have to do all winter). I banged out about 2 miles and (dripping) came in to do my stretching.

Now maybe the library, if I can tear K away from Aladdin.

Jillian!

2010-07-09T04:32:00.000-07:00

My @ss is kicked!! I did No More Trouble Zones for the first time this morning, trying to get motivated along with HTP and I didn't make it through the whole thing. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!

I am trying to remind myself that this is not a reason to say "I'll wait to do it until I'm in better shape", which definitely crossed my mind. What I need to do is KEEP doing it UNTIL I'm in better shape. But wow. My heart rate was through the roof. I made it through about 30 minutes before quitting.

I've been a bit lax with exercise this week, trying to catch up on sleep...and it has been super hot. But that is also an excuse. I need to get back into it.

I also finally got some of my to-do list done. I am actually sitting at my desk to type this! It is no longer stacked sky high with papers and my chair is no longer overflowing with clothes. It makes me feel better, even though there is still a lot to do.

Last night we had my mom and dad over for dinner. Nothing fancy--just burgers and dogs and grilled zucchini and caprese salad. They were over swimming with my daughter and stayed to eat.

Then I stayed up too late reading American Wife, which I first heard about on ELR, even though I'd read Prep by the same author. I tell you, I'm not sure if healthy living blogs are having a positive effect or a negative effect on my well-being.

TGIF! We have a low-key weekend on the docket. No visitors! That's the only weekend all summer we can say that.

Is Something Wrong?

2010-07-08T04:42:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me. Maybe it is just the heat. Maybe inconsistent sleep, diet and exercise.

But I can never seem to feel rested, never feel energetic. What's up with that?
Is it just part of getting older? That doesn't seem right. I know plenty of people my age and older with energy.

I think I might need to check this out with a health care professional.

PEI recap

2010-07-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

I arrived around midnight on Wednesday, so I didn't get to see the glorious outside of our accommodations. My friend Andrea was there to greet me with wine! Hurrah! And I did get to see the beautiful inside, however, which looked like this:

Woodstove, with fire for rainy PEI night:

Shot of kitchen and dining area (with bar) from living room:

What an amazing place!! I can't believe it is called "The Barn", even if that's what it was or looks like on the outside (which, when you see the exterior pictures, you can judge for yourself). Upstairs is a bathroom and two giant bedrooms, and downstairs (not pictured) also two bedrooms and a bathroom.

We stayed up chatting and drinking wine, and finally crashed around 2am. (Yikes!)

Thursday morning we needed to get to the LM Montgomery conference at UPEI early. Andrea was giving her paper, and we didn't want to miss the beginning of the day. I got up at 6:30 and went out for a run. The morning was beautiful, and I passed these fields:

I also ran over a bridge where there was a Great Blue Heron having its morning breakfast and I could smell fresh sea air on the breeze. It was a perfect morning for a run--somewhere between 50F and 60F--but unfortunately my body wasn't feeling particularly cooperative. I guess a day of air travel plus a late night with wine and only 4 or so hours of sleep doesn't make for a good run. I walked part of it, enjoyed the scenery and fresh air, and chalked it up to "Something is better than nothing".

Coffee and a quick breakfast of yogurt and berries was consumed (by me) and we headed off to the conference and heard some fantastic papers on Montgomery!

Once the AM sessions were over, we grabbed some lunch and headed off to try and visit some Montgomery sites around the Island. We were aiming for Bideford, to visit the Parsonage where Montgomery lived in 1894-95 while she taught at the Bideford school.

On our travels we met this little guy:

I think it was a baby red squirrel. I say baby because we were in a fairly remote area (not city) and it was not particularly afraid of us.

We stopped at a couple different pottery places (I ended up getting a little bowl with Lupins on it and another with a blue design) before hitting any LMM sites.
We visited the LM Montgomery Birthplace in New London, where I did not take any pictures but we did see some new short stories in the display of Montgomery's scrapbooks. I had been there before, so other things, like her wedding dress, were fun to see again, but not new to me.

After the birthplace, we went on to the LMM Homestead in Cavendish. The homestead is not particularly touristy--nothing like the Green Gables house up the road.
However, IMO (and I think also the opinion of many who study Montgomery and her journals/works), the homestead is the heart and soul of Montgomery. There is a rich
history and it really contains the spirit of her life and works.

Foundation of LMM's childhood home:

Lane to the "Haunted Wood", cemetery, and Green Gables house (not Lover's Lane, mind you):

View from the homestead (which I think recreates a famous photograph in LMM's journals of the view from the house--but I can't be sure):

After the homestead, we stopped by the Cavendish cemetery, where I also took photos of multiple graves (LMM's, her grandparents', her mother's, her friends Tillie and William Houston) because I am a ghoul or a history fanatic, depending on your perspective.

We decided to skip the Green Gables house and continue on to Park Corner to visit the Anne of Green Gables museum (former home of LMM's Aunt Annie Campbell and her
cousin/best friend Frede). Unfortunately, by the time we got there it was closed. (It closes at 4:30 folks!) I didn't feel too disappointed since I'd been there before, and by then we were both pretty knackered.

We headed back toward home, stopping off at the grocery for dinner supplies, and then had a lovely dinner at home.

Friday morning we didn't have to be at the conference early, so I slept in. (No run). I did get a chance to take pictures of the exterior though--the weather was gorgeous and so was The Barn:

And the peonies that I desperately covet:

We went to the conference a little late and attended a wonderful keynote speech by LMMI founder Elizabeth Epperly. Her presentations are always entertaining, thought-provoking and excellently delivered, and this one was no exception. I left her presentation with my mind jumping all over like popcorn in a hot oiled skillet! I jotted down some of my ideas for later development.

Since we hadn't made it to Bideford the prior day, and the weather was now GORGEOUS, we lit out for Bideford again with the plan to minimize our stops and make it there this time.

And we did!! I was pretty excited since last time I was on the Island in 2002 we drove up there and it was CLOSED. I was NOT happy, since none of their literature indicated they had one day a week that they were closed. It was very frustrating.

This time they were open though. Phew!

Bideford Parsonage:

Montgomery's room (with spool bed and original floors!):

The view from Montgomery's window:

The red fields of PEI (with potato crops?):

After Bideford (which was a long drive), we headed back toward Charlottetown to pick up Ben Lefebvre (LMMI Visiting Scholar), who came out for dinner. We had a laid back evening and got to bed a bit earlier. Andrea was chairing the morning session on Saturday and I wanted to go to the other session (Concurrent Sessions were running in the AM), so we needed to be there early.

Saturday morning was beautiful again, but I was so tired. I really was wiped out before this trip, and then we did so much running around and staying up late, I didn't really recuperate on this vacation like I might have. My alarm went off at 6:30, but I decided to drink coffee and spend some time reading in bed instead of running. I don't get the opportunity to do that very often, so in a way it was a better option than going for a run.

I went to a great session at the conference about Montgomery's work and multimedia which involved psychological experiments, connections to Pride and Prejudice and Twilight and cultural tourism.

Side note: Did you know that Forks, WA was nearly a dead town before Twilight's popularity? And that in 2006 they had 6000 visitors, followed by more than double that in 2007 and 23,400 visitors between Jan and June of 2009 alone? Twilight tourism has revitalized the town economy. And to think that Meyer
chose the town via internet research!!

After the first session, we went to Ben's keynote address, which was also fascinating and thought-provoking. It really is inspiring to spend time around people like Ben and Betsy and Andrea and Elizabeth Waterson. I love the way my mind churns with ideas and my creative juices are flowing after one of these conferences.

In the afternoon, Andrea and I tooled around Charlottetown. I got some presents for my family and finally tried Cows ice cream (Verdict: Good, but IMO not as good as
Ben & Jerry's). I had the Wowie Cowie, which is the "signature" and had a vanilla base with heath bar, chocolate chips and caramely stuff (I think).

After C-town, we headed to the book signing, where I got a copy of Deirdre Kessler's Anne of Green Gables picture book adaptation. I had intended to just read my daughter the original book, but I am getting impatient and want to read to her NOW. And Deirdre was nice enough to sign it for her and everything.

We headed home for a rest before the closing banquet of the conference (there were sessions on Sunday, but the banquet is kind of the big event, and I had to fly out early Sunday AM). The banquet was brilliant. The food was delicious, and there was a fantastic "Conversations with Elizabeth Epperly and Elizabeth Waterston" session that was terrific. Both women were witty, intelligent, entertaining and it made the $40 ticket worthwhile. Afterward there was also dancing and conversation, and it was a great time!

(Elizabeth Epperly, Jean Mitchell, Ben Lefebvre, Elizabeth Waterston, Me, Andrea)

Unfortunately I had to leave Sunday morning. My flight back was a bit of an ordeal (three legs), but all-in-all I had a great trip!

Holy Heat!!

2010-07-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

When I got in my car today, it was 102 outside. UGH!!

Is it just me, or do four day work weeks go slower than five day work weeks to somehow compensate for the missing day? I felt like today lasted forever.

I have two recaps to do now--PEI and the 4th, so I'll get on that!

July 1st!

2010-07-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my brother! He's 21 today. I'll be thinking of you on my 25th birthday at the end of the month, little bro.

Also, Happy Canada Day!!

Seriously though, this week has been pretty good in terms of getting myself back on track. I ran on Monday, did the elliptical and upper body weights on Tuesday,
went to hot yoga Wednesday and did elliptical and some lower body weights this morning. Go me! I've also been off the sugar since Sunday, and haven't had any
eating binges or junk food sprees since my vacation. Fruits and vegetables and lean protein have been my mainstays this week and I'm feeling pretty good.
I was very tired Monday and Tuesday, but I think I'm starting to catch up on my sleep. I was up a bit late last night, but I don't feel too tired so far today.

Now if I can just stay on track through the holiday weekend. I'm hoping to run tomorrow AM, and maybe on Saturday and Monday. Sunday will definitely be a rest day.
I think I'll be able to manage healthy food options for myself this weekend.

Over on Tumblr, Revealing My Grace (glamourandgrace.tumblr.com) is doing a July Rejuvenation "jotting challenge" that I found via 94 monkeys, and here it is:

1. How I feel about my body/weight today:
2. Something that made me feel confident today was:
3. Something kind I did today:
4. I felt beautiful today b/c:
5. My theme song of the day was:
6. How I succeeded in my diet/fitness today:
7. How I will challenge my diet/fitness tomorrow:
8. Something I will do for myself tomorrow:
9. Something Tumblr friends don't know about me:
10. How today was better than yesterday:

It says it is a daily survey for July. I'm sure I probably won't do it every day (since I can't even guarantee I'll blog everyday), but here' s my answers for today:

1. How I feel about my body/weight today: Impatient. I am making healthy changes, but I struggle with the frustration of not seeing instant results. I am not
used to being out of shape/over my preferred weight and I want it resolved NOW. It is hard to be patient and remember it is a process.
2. Something that made me feel confident today was: Having a good workout.
3. Something kind I did today: Cleaned up the kitchen even though my husband said he'd do it
4. I felt beautiful today b/c: I am strong and putting the effort in to being a healthy person.
5. My theme song of the day was: Workin' for the Weekend (?)
6. How I succeeded in my diet/fitness today: Got to the gym! Ate a big dose of greens at breakfast! Have a great lunch packed with fruits and vegetables!
7. How I will challenge my diet/fitness tomorrow: Attempt to get in a run, possibly outside.
8. Something I will do for myself tomorrow: Try to sit with my feet up for 1/2 an hour and read.
9. Something Tumblr friends don't know about me: Well, I'm not on Tumblr, so I'll just say blog. There are so many, I can't count! I worry that my blog is boring.
10. How today was better than yesterday: I managed to get out of bed and get to the gym and don't feel as tired.

Have a great Thursday everyone.

PEI recap coming, as soon as I have time to upload all the pictures. AGAIN.

F*ck!

2010-06-30T17:48:00.000-07:00

I just lost my PEI post for which I had uploaded about 8 or 9 photos and written up three days of narrative.

I hate technology sometimes.

In positive news, I went to yoga tonight.

I'll rewrite later.

Homeward Bound

2010-06-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

Well, after a successful trip to Bideford on Friday and a fantastic day at the conference and in Charlottetown, followed by the conference banquet last night, I am headed home again!

I can't believe the trip is over already but here I am, sitting in the Halifax airport, waiting for my connection to Toronto. I loved being back on the Island, but I'm glad to be heading home too. I miss my baby.

And as much fun as it is traveling with a friend, there were a lot of things I missed about traveling with my husband. He and I have known each other so long and traveled together so much, we really have it down to a science. Or an art.

Anyway, I have several hours of airports and flights ahead, and I picture the purchase of more Cadbury chocolate in my future. I hope I run into something decent for lunch too. I'll
recap the trip with pictures when I'm home again!

PEI!!

2010-06-25T06:42:00.000-07:00

I've been here a day and a half and just figured out the wireless. I'm not traveling with a laptop for the first time in a decade, so I wont be uploading pictures until I get home.

I flew through Toronto and arrived at midnight on Wednesday. No trouble getting a cab and finding our accommodations, and wow! Our little home is gorgeous. I cant wait to post photos.

Yesterday we attended a morning conference session and my friend gave her paper. Then we grabbed a quick sandwich and headed out to explore the Island. We visited the LM Montgomery birthplace in New London and the homestead in Cavendish. We got to Park Corner but a little too late--the museum had just closed. I guess we made too many random stops at pottery places. I did get a cute bowl for oatmeal with lupins on it.

Today we are at the conference again to see Elizabeth Epperly speak and then off to a different adventure. I slept almost nine hours last night--yay!

Up in the Air

2010-06-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am at the airport. With TWO HOURS to kill before my flight.

Sigh. I hate silly rules but I was burned before when an airline refused to let me and my husband check in when it was two minutes shy of the two hours prior to an international flight. So here I am.

There is a wine bar showing the world cup, so I'm sure I'll entertain myself. Also I've logged plenty of hours in airports, having spent most of my early career as a traveling consultant. But I do wish I could just be there already.

2010-06-23T08:52:00.000-07:00

In four hours I will be on a plane headed for Toronto and ultimately PEI.
In an hour and a half I will be heading to the airport.

Right now I am sitting at my desk eating a salad of spinach, spring mix and romaine with red pepper, cherry tomatoes, kidney beans, artichoke hearts, edamame, hard boiled egg and a few green olives, dressed with red wine vinegar. I figured I may not encounter many vegetables in my travels today, so I'm loading up now.

I'm so excited!

It Must Be Summer

2010-06-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

Because I'm neglecting the blog terribly!

In all honesty, nothing much is happening during the week and then I'm busy during the weekends, so I keep doing week recaps.

This week we had a FANTASTIC veggie box from the CSA:

It was almost perfect: baby lettuce mix, baby spinach, scallions, rainbow chard, broccoli, basil and Napa cabbage (which I'm sort of tired of already). I was pretty excited with everything this week.

This weekend I made Pioneer Woman's awesome spinach salad--so delicious. We went up to the lake and my parents came up. We went to the beach and generally just chilled out all day. Best of all, my daughter wrote her name on her daddy's Father's Day card all by herself. I was so proud!!

This week I am going to my conference, so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for good, safe flights and that my daughter fares well in my absence. I hope to be back before she's missed me too much. I'll only be gone four days.

Maybe I'll blog again before I leave!

A Whole Week!!

2010-06-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

Yikes, I'm not sure how a whole week went by there! We did get my grant application successfully submitted by last Friday though, and then went out of town all weekend.

This is how I spent my Saturday:

It was pretty fun--we met up with some friends from the city at Sesame Place in PA, and my daughter had a blast. She was wiped out by the end of the day--asleep before we left the parking lot.

On Sunday we visited my SIL, who also lives in PA and I got to relax while K played with her cousins. I also got in a trip to Wegman's!!

This week is another busy one. Today we had a meet and greet at my daughter's new school. Tomorrow is my busy day at work and I'm going to try to get to hot yoga. Wednesday is CSA day and my husband is going to the city for the day to take care of something at our apartment. Thursday I have a haircut, and then we're back to the weekend again! And it is also Father's Day. Need to figure out our weekend plans.

Trying to get back on track with normal routines again, now that the grant is in. Gym tomorrow AM, and maybe yoga!

Wonderful Saturday

2010-06-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry I disappeared there, but here is how I spent yesterday afternoon:

After the race, we drove straight up to Lake George and spent the afternoon noodling around on the lake. When we first went down to the boat it started to rain, and I was worried it would rain on and off all afternoon--but it didn't! It was gorgeous.
We boated to Hague, played at the playground and beach, and had lunch. We didn't come back until dinner time, since K has a playdate this morning.

The Freihofer results are finally posted. My net time was 31:31, which puts me squarely in the middle of the pack (There were 3500+ runners, and I was around 1600) and a pace of 10:09. Better than my April 5K, which I did at a pace closer to 10:30!
Nowhere near my PR, which is somewhere around 25 min, but that was pre-pregnancy. I think I should start keeping PPPRs--post-pregnancy PRs. Heh.

This morning I am making banana muffins and then we are off to a brunch playdate. It is pouring rain right now, so I suspect that post-playdate will feature the grocery store, the library and hopefully, finally, baking oatmeal bread.

YEAH!

2010-06-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

I just finished the Freihofer Run for Women and it was Awesome!

I crossed the finish with a gross time of 32:30, but I'll have to wait to see what my net time was.
I know it took a little while to cross the start because my first mile marker time was about 11:45. And it was HOT.

Special thanks to the woman from Chatham (originally from LI) that I used as a pace car. You really helped keep me moving!

More later when I'm showered and fed.

Bleah!

2010-06-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yoga kicked my ass! I'm not sure exactly why: different muscles, the heat, stretching releasing stress or toxins...
No matter, I was wiped out and crashed at 9:30 last night--and slept until my daughter got up at 6:50!
So much for today's run.

I still feel kinda mushy and tired (relaxed?) It isn't working for me. I can't concentrate
Also, as sometimes happens when I don't work out in the AM, I feel weirdly hungry. I was craving nuts so I finally caved and ate a small nut bar.

What gives yoga?

HOT!!!

2010-06-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

Yoga, that is! I went to my first hot yoga class tonight, and it was great. I really am jelly now. It was tough, because my flexibility is not that great, but it was fun. I can't wait to go back.

Tonight was also CSA pick up! Here is our beautiful bounty:

Our box this week includes two heads of lettuce, a bag of mesclun salad mix, a head of Napa cabbage, scallions, radishes, garlic scapes, cilantro and strawberries. Fantastic!

I also bought strawberries and asparagus at the farmer's market today, but woe is me! The farmer I buy eggs from was OUT when I got there. I was very dismayed, since I've been eating those eggs for breakfast every day and I ate the last one this morning. Next Wednesday I'll have to get there when they open, I guess.

Looking forward to some fresh salads this week!

Hump Day Again!

2010-06-02T04:09:00.001-07:00

I love short weeks!

Sorry I went AWOL there for a bit. The weekend was a whirlwind and before I knew it, it was back to work time. Also, I'm reading The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo and that has been occupying my free time. With a 3yo, there isn't a lot of leisure time to be had, and I've been reading and neglecting the blog. Sorry!

We had a great time at the BBQ on Saturday. I didn't do very well with eating, unfortunately. I didn't eat lunch and we arrived post-lunch (mistake #1), and then instead of making a plan and eating something right away, I just grazed (mistake #2). And I grazed all day, right into dinner, and right on afterward, on some less than optimal things (mistake #3). I didn't feel very happy about the choices I made, but I've been trying to put that behind me and get back on track.

Sunday we had a laid back day, went to the kiddie amusement park and the pool. My daughter LOVES the pool, and it is nice and shallow so it warms up quickly in the sun.

Monday we hung out and had a barbecue with my parents, and then hit the pool again at the end of the day. Fun!

I didn't exercise at all over the weekend, but I've been back on track this week. Yesterday I ran 3.3 miles, and this morning did 30 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the recumbent bike. And I'm doing the Freihofer's Run for Women on Saturday! YAY!!

Lately I've been addicted to my farmer's market eggs for breakfast. I made a frittata with leeks and Laughing Cow and it was sooo good. I've had it twice now and it may be in my morning future. I'm out of eggs though, so good thing today is farmer's market day.

Also, today our CSA starts!! I'll post later on what we get. Have a great day!

Woohoo!! Weekend!!!

2010-05-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

My office was dead by about 2pm, but I was there until 5. Bleah.

But I'm out now!!!

After my shower this morning, my daughter wanted pancakes. I usually make pancakes one day and then freeze the leftovers, and stick them in the toaster for her on school mornings. This morning I decided to make fresh, and while I was making them, I decided I'd eat a couple too. I used Hodgson Mills whole wheat pancake mix (my usual). I have TJ's pumpkin pancake mix, which I'm going to crack open one of these days. I decided I wanted some protein with my pancakes, so cooked up an egg on the side. Nice fresh eggs from the farmers market, free-range, pastured chickens and the delicious orange yolk and flavor of REAL eggs--not pasty pale yellow supermarket eggs.

I had three medium sized thin pancakes (with 100% maple syrup for dipping), an egg, and some pineapple and honeydew on the side. And coffee with 1% milk.

Delicious!!

Work was, indeed, slow today. My daughter, however, had an end-of-year party at preschool today and it was CIRCUS DAY! She had a great time.

Otherwise it was clean out the fridge around here. Lunch was 2% Fage with farmer's market strawberries (so flavorful!), a yellow bell pepper, two carrots and some grape tomatoes. I also snacked on a Luna Protein cookie dough bar.

A friend's parents are having a big garage sale this weekend, so we went by to get first picks. We got a great set of twelve glasses, some Pier 1 bowls, a wine rack and a recliner! It's in decent shape (and with a preschooler, we aren't exactly seeking top-of-the-line condition anyway) and the price was right. Yay! Perfect for our back room.

Dinner was really, REALLY clean out the fridge. We had fresh asparagus, but pretty much everything else was reheat. Leftover chicken tikka and basmati rice for my husband, leftover rice, naan, and baked beans for my meat-averse daughter, and the second half of an Amy's roasted vegetable pizza for me. Those pizzas are so amazingly delicious. I added some leftover goat cheese (Vermont Butter & Cheese Co, yay!) to a few pieces, and even more delicious!

The husband and I decided that tonight's event didn't seem that child-friendly to us, so he went on ahead to it without me and I am putting K to bed. She's getting a treat of watching Backyardigans, and then off to bed. Then I plan to read for a bit, or maybe some tv and then off to dreamland for me.

Tomorrow morning: Run, grocery store for fruit salad ingredients, possibly farmer's market, and then off to our BBQ!

Ahhhh....Friday

2010-05-28T03:56:00.000-07:00

Much cooler today--only 55 degrees when I headed to the gym at 5:30. I had a good workout 15 minutes of running (so hard to not run) and 30 minutes on the Arc trainer.

Yesterday I learned a lesson about my Green Monsters. I do NOT like them with kale. BLEAH!! It was unpalatable. I guess I'll stick to my kale cooked and my Green Monsters with spinach. I couldn't drink it and had to eat cereal for breakfast.

Today will be a low key day at the office, I hope. I finished the entire draft of my grant application and sent to the main reviewers. They may have feedback today, but it seems like everyone is leaving early for the long weekend.

LONG WEEKEND!! Woohoo!

Since I started my new job I haven't had any days off, so I am pretty excited for the holiday on Monday. We aren't going away, and we only have firm plans for tonight (college reunion related for my husband) and tomorrow (BBQ with friends), so I'm hoping it will be a relaxing weekend.

What are you all doing for the long weekend?

I still hope to get in a couple workouts and stay on a good sleep schedule. And not too many S'mores or beers at the BBQ!

Thunder!

2010-05-27T03:57:00.000-07:00

There was a tremendous thunderstorm last night!! With enormous claps of thunder and the rain lashing against the roof and sides of the house, wind whipping the trees around. It was glorious.

I have always loved thunderstorms, and you just don't get a good old-fashioned storm like that in NYC.

Anyway, this morning it is cooler but still pretty humid and I sweated up a storm at the gym. I did a combination of running and the elliptical today. Tues was a run day, Wed all elliptical, today was a combo. I'm trying to keep myself from overtraining with my running (since I enjoy it so much) by alternating days and moderating. It's tough!

Today's stats:

22 minutes run, 2.23 miles
22 minutes on the elliptical
Approximately 330 calories burned

I drank all my water but I am still craving more. I think a Green Monster will be in order this morning!!

Yesterday was HOT. I picked up chard, strawberries and asparagus at the farmer's market at lunchtime and I felt bad for all the people at their stands. It was pretty brutal, especially for upstate NY in May. The husband and I went for Mexican, and then picked up K, who was wiped out from a hot day of playing.

I was in bed by 8:30 and asleep by 9:30, with only a brief waking to enjoy the storm.
I have to finish my grant app today, so off to the shower and then to work. Have a good one!

Hump Day--again already??

2010-05-26T03:52:00.000-07:00

I'm in the throes of grant application, so my internet time is limited. I expect the next couple nights to be long worknights, but hopefully that means I'll get to enjoy the long weekend.

We had a great weekend. On Saturday K and I did some quick grocery shopping in the AM and then met a friend and her daughter at the playground for a picnic and playdate. K had a great time and we really enjoyed the sun and warm weather. Afterward I took her to get an ice cream (Purple!). We had a relaxed evening, and then Sunday we met up with another friend and her daughter at a different playground. K had a great time there also, and fell asleep in the car on the way home.

Monday was rough though--I was up too late and already underslept, so I stayed in bed. I decided that I really need to institute some new bedtime rules for K. I have been laying down with her every night until she falls asleep--which is somemtimes not until 9:30!! I need to go to bed by then myself if I am getting up at 5:30 for the gym, so new rules went into effect Monday night.

Our new rules are:

1. No TV during dinner
2. After dinner, only one episode of a DVD TV show (aka Max & Ruby) is permitted, and only after she has her bath, brushes her teeth and puts on PJs. An episode lasts about 20 minutes.
3. She must be in bed by 8pm.
4. I will stay in her room until 8:30, either reading books or laying down with her, but then I leave and she has to stay in her bed.

It worked Monday night and Tuesday night. Let's go for three!

Yesterday I had a great four mile run in the AM, but I ate my bodyweight in almonds at the office. Stress munching. I really need to quit that, as it is sabotaging my get-fit efforts. I have gone to bed early the last three nights which has cut my nighttime snacking, and I don't want to undo it with daytime snacking!

This morning was 40 minutes on the elliptical and some upper body weights. It's going to be a hot day. Off to the shower.

Happy Monday

2010-05-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

We had a super busy weekend--playground playdates Saturday and Sunday!
I'm recovering, so more posting later when it's not by phone

Phew!

2010-05-21T04:11:00.000-07:00

I am so glad it is Friday.

Yesterday was another gym skipping day, but at least I got to work early. I am getting lousy sleep this week, partly because my daughter has had a few interrupted nights, but also because I just don't go to bed. I tell myself I'm going to, and then I just stay up too late anyway.

This is partly because I don't get any downtime. Ever. The closest I come to downtime is going to the gym, which--yeah, it kind of is downtime. But it isn't downtime-sitonyourass-watchcraptv-surftheinternet-readabook kind of downtime, which I also need. I just don't get that kind of time much. So I stay up too late trying to get it, which is self-sabotage in a way, because it not only undoes other positive things I'm trying to do (eat healthy, exercise), but it ends up giving me more of a need for downtime. UGH!

Yesterday I tried out making one of Jenna's (or Kath's) oatmeal pancakes. I made it with 1/2 cup of oats, 1/2c of egg whites (3 large), 1/2 mashed banana, 1/2tsp baking soda and 1/2tsp of vanilla and topped it with 1/2 Tbsp of maple syrup and 1/2 Tbsp of PB.

I have to say, I don't think I'm a fan. I love pancakes, and I love oats, but this didn't do it for me. I didn't like the texture--it was too airy with the egg whites. Maybe I'd like it with regular old egg, but I think I prefer my whole wheat pancakes OR oatmeal. I don't think I'll try this recipe again.

The rest of yesterday was pretty uneventful. I got some stuff done at work, had a semi-boring lunch (turkey and cheese and spinach sandwich, squash, apple), did some more work, came home and had a talk with my parents about my daughter's childcare, drank a glass of wine and ultimately ended up having Indian food for dinner (which my husband went and picked up--thank you!).

I ate a little inappropriately during/after the childcare discussion, partly because it was a semi-fraught conversation (it is tough having a parent as an employee, because they are still your parent!) and partly because of the wine and partly because I waited too long for dinner. So I ate some cheese and crackers and raisins and a handful of goldfish crackers. On the plus side, when the Indian food came I didn't inhale it all. I ate some, but I knew I was full and stopped before I got stuffed.

But then I stayed up until midnight catching up with some old internet friends in a new forum I was invited to. It was great and I laughed and enjoyed it, but this morning I'm exhausted. *foreheadslap*

Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight and run tomorrow.

Happy Hump Day!

2010-05-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm alternating energy days, because today was more productive than yesterday! Then again, maybe it is on RUN DAYS!

I slept poorly last night, but I got up at 5:30 and went to the gym anyway because I knew I'd get more energy from some exercise than from another half hour of sleep. I did a 25 minute HIIT run (high intensity interval training), and then 20 minutes on the elliptical.
Afterward I did two sets of crunches on the physioball and two 30 second planks, and then rolled out my legs and back on the foam roller.

Breakfast was oatmeal made with 1/2c old-fashioned oats, 1 Tbsp raisins, a small banana and 1/2 Tbsp PB. I'm measuring starting today because I have actually been *gaining* weight with my exercise and healthy eating. That tells me that my calorie counts are off because I am mis-estimating portions. So I'm going to include more measurements/portion control info.
I also had a cup of coffee with 1 Tbsp of half n' half.

I obsessed over spreadsheets and documents all morning, and started to feel hungry around noon--and never needed a snack. I'm wondering if I've been eating a snack because I brought it, rather than because I'm hungry.

Lunch was nitrate-free ham (3 slices=.75 portion), 1 slice of organic cheddar, a tsp of mustard and some spinach on an Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin. It hit the spot! I wasn't hungry after I ate it, so I went out for a walk and hit the farmer's market.
I got a loaf of whole wheat bread, a dozen eggs and some gorgeous rainbow chard (no picture, sorry).

After my walk, I ate my carrots (3oz) and then a small apple around 2:15. At 3:45, I started to feel hungry again and had a nonfat plain Chobani with stawberries (1/2c).

The afternoon went by fast! When I left work, unfortunately, it was starting to drizzle.
I had to pick up my daughter and I knew my husband ate lunch late, so I got creative in planning my own dinner. We're running low on produce--I didn't do a good job of planning this week with the groceries--but I don't want to go midweek, so I took a look at what we had available.

I still had mesclun mix from the farmer's market, plus some leftover asparagus from Monday, and some baby bella mushrooms I needed to use. I also had cooked butternut squash. By the time I got home, I was hungry so I ate a cup of butternut right away.

That kept me from snacking on something less than ideal (chocolate chips anyone?) while I concocted the main event:

I minced some garlic and sauteed it in 1 tsp of EVOO, and then sauteed the baby bellas.

Once the mushroom liquid had diminished and the mushrooms were soft, I added the asparagus (since it was already cooked):

I also slightly warmed some goat cheese in the microwave and then put the sauteed bellas and asparagus over the mesclun and put the warm goat cheese on top.

This was so delicious!!

Bonus: While I was finishing, my daughter fell asleep in the chair (no nap today) and my husband popped her in bed. I'm going to go to bed early tonight! Yippee!!

Tired Tuesday

2010-05-18T15:25:00.000-07:00

Today has been a markedly dull day compared to yesterday. Yesterday, the momentum from my run took me through the whole day. I was productive at work and felt mostly good (until the stress eating).

This morning I was soooo tired! Even though I went to bed around 10:30 (a little late, but not bad), I shut the alarm off and went back to sleep until 7:30! My daughter rarely sleeps that late, so I guess it is a good thing I took advantage of it. It meant I missed my workout though, so there was nothing to perk me up all day.

I was hungry when I got up though, so I had a bowl of Puffins. I was craving these for some reason!

I was still hungry though, so I had a piece of whole wheat toast with PB and half a banana. And coffee.

I didn't feel on top of my game during a heated discussion in one of my standard Tuesday meetings (I hate that), and then I ate a Luna protein bar around 11:45, partly for energy and partly out of boredom. I should have just eaten lunch because the bar was really filling and I basically had to eat lunch before 2pm. I had this avocado salad again, and I didn't end up finishing it. Partly because I was full, and partly because I wasn't feeling it.

Later in the afternoon I had Chobani with fresh strawberries and a little bit of TJ's ABC trail mix, but I was sluggish all day.

Dinner was a thrown together one: macaroni and cheese from a box (whole grain!) and broccoli. Lame. And I burned my finger on the burner--and it blistered!!!

Now I'm going to get my daughter to bed and go to bed myself--without eating more cookies.

Maniac Monday

2010-05-17T15:26:00.001-07:00

I had a great run this morning, and apparently a pretty solid bowl of oatmeal, because I wasn't hungry for lunch until nearly 1pm! At about 12:45 I decided to take my lunch outside and take a walk as well, since the weather was so beautiful. I had a pretty dull lunch (salad made of mesclun, 1/2 green pepper, some grape tomatoes and the tail end of a cucumber with goddess dressing, a tuna pouch), but a great time outside.

I breathed in the fresh air and soaked up the Vitamin D, and took a big looping walk. While I was at it, I checked out some of the food vendors around the state capitol. I think there are a few possibly healthy options, but I doubt I'll be hitting the vendors too often.

I had a super productive day at work, but when I got home the chocolate attacks hit me. I think it was partially stress (my husband has health problems and was having a rough day) and partly PMS (ugh), and I munched on chocolate chips while I was making a healthy dinner (lean pork, sweet potatoes, asparagus)--and then after my daughter went to bed I made chocolate chip cookies. Yikes--stress eating!

How do you deal with it when stress drives you to eat? I definitely crave sweets when I get stressed, and sometimes (with a young daughter and a husband feeling sub-par) I don't have a lot of alternatives (taking off to yoga class or the like is not an option). I end up eating things I wish I hadn't and then I have the guilt piled on also. Any suggestions?

Whirlwind Weekend

2010-05-17T04:27:00.001-07:00

Super busy weekend and the excitement of seeing old friends!

Friday night we had dinner with a friend of my husband's from college, which was fun. My daughter had a great time playing with their kids, and we had a delicious dinner. Beef kabobs (marinated in something delicious--honey and soy and yum!), rice and corn on the cob, a great bottle of Murphy-Goode Liars Dice (yum!) and a fantastic chocolate mousse pie that their 13 year old daughter made. Sooooo good.

We also watched Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, which was very cute!

We got back super late, especially for my daughter--which wasn't such a good thing for our Saturday.

I only got about 6 hours sleep, but popped up Saturday AM and hit the gym for a run. I did a quick 2.5 miler and then did squats and pushups, and I'm glad I did. It really kept my energy up the rest of the day.

I had grand plans to make oatmeal bread for our nanny--and we had no yeast!! Very upsetting. I will have to FedEx her a loaf.

She arrived around 11 and we hit the farmer's market, and then I gave her the ten cent tour, and we went to the playground aaaannnnndddd....my daughter fell asleep in the carseat on the way, and didn't want to wake up. So we dropped off library books and got bagel sandwiches (I had hummus with sprouts, lettuce, cucumber and green pepper) and ate them while she slept.
When she finally woke up, we played at the playground for a bit. It was pretty windy though and she was still crabby (tired), so we headed home around 3:30. It was nice for me to get to talk with her.

We hung out at home and then after our nanny left again (we miss her), I did some grocery shopping. We had a quick dinner of tacos (made with ground bison), and by 9pm we were all asleep!

I forgot to mention: on my way out to the grocery store, one of our neighbors was locked out of their apartment. I got the maintenance emergency number for them and let them use my phone and when I got home, they had left me flowers!! Wasn't that sweet? They totally didn't need to do it, but it was really nice of them. :o)

Yesterday, we drove out to western Massachusetts to visit a friend of mine from high school. I hadn't seen her in about 15 years and it was SO GREAT to reunite with her!! Her son and my daughter played together and ran around the yard while we talked. It was fantastic. She made a wonderful frittata for us with local eggs, local cheese and local leeks. It was delicious, and paired with homemade blueberry muffins and honeydew melon. Such a spread. She lives in a great old farmhouse.

Plus, we had a gorgeous day!! I enjoyed the drive through the Berkshires.

And in all this whole exciting weekend...I took NO PICTURES. Blogger FAIL.

This morning I am just back from a three mile run, which felt wonderful. I did my bicep, tricep and ab work, but crapped out on my pushups. Just not feeling them today. Now I have to hit the shower and get some breakfast in me so I'm not late for work.

Have a great Monday!

Calorie Counting

2010-05-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

Weird. Today, when I had a good solid workout in the morning, I am not ravenously hungry. I wonder if working out at night and not adequately refueling was setting me up for day-long hunger?

This morning I had a piece of banana and tsp of PB before my run, and then a bowl of oatmeal with the rest of the banana, some raisins, chia seeds and a Tbsp of PB afterward, and it is 11am and I'm still holding strong on that! My workout burned about 275 calories, and my breakfast was about 380--465 if you count the food
and coffee I had beforehand. But yesterday I had no workout in the morning, and had breakfast of about 370 calories. Is the additional 95 calories making a difference? Or is it the 375 calories I burned the night before that made me so hungry yesterday? Or was it that I got a little bit more sleep last night?

The mysteries of the human body.

I am finding my energy level to be higher today, and I've had a more productive morning already. I love running!! Plus, does anyone else notice that they have a nicer complexion after running? My skin and color both look pretty glowy this morning. I don't get that with any other cardio workout.

I was a little lazy this morning about packing my lunch. I just didn't feel like making a salad. I'm out of mesclun mix and all I have left is iceberg lettuce (and a wee bit of spinach). I like iceberg, but I just didn't feel like cutting/washing it this morning before work. Plus it would make a nice wedge salad with some (super healthy!) bleu cheese and bacon.

Anyway, I grabbed the last piece of whole grain veggie lasagna from last week, and brought some carrot sticks and fruit salad to go with it. And Fage for an afternoon snack, of course. :o)

Can I say that I really hate calorie counting? I've been trying to monitor my calories a bit because I really would like to lose 8-10 lbs before I have to appear in public in a bathing suit. Or rather, I'd like to lose the fat that I have visibly gained around my belly and hip area--I care a lot less about the actual number on the scale. I want to look fit. I want to fit in my spring/summer clothes. I am trying to avoid evening binging, eat healthy whole foods, and exercise consistently. I also figured I should keep an eye on my calorie intake for a while to better gauge if I am eating too much or too little.

It is hard!!

For starters, it is confusing. How many calories am I really burning per day? There are a million calculators and formulas out there, but they are all just ESTIMATES. Should I use BMR (basal metabolic rate) and RMR (resting metabolic rate) to determine how many calories I burn? And if I want to calculate my exercise calories separately, do I use the "sedentary" factor for calculating number of calories I should eat?

For example, if I follow the instructions on www.caloriesperhour.com and use RMR:

My RMR is 1208 (with an estimate of height and weight--my BMI is about 21 right now, smack in the middle of the healthy range) If I use sedentary, my RMR is 1450.

Technically, based on these numbers, if I want to lose a pound a week, I have to eat 950 calories or I have to exercise 500 calories worth? That seems insane. I find it difficult to believe that those numbers can be accurate for me, given that I've been eating a diet of probably 2500 calories and maintaining the same weight for three months.

Let's say, for arguments sake, that I should use "lightly active". That gives me 1661. Or "moderately active", which gives me 1872. If I go on Livestrong.com and enter my stats, it tells me my maintenance amount is around 1800 calories (not including activities).

Does that mean that my 3-5x/week exercise affects my RMR? Can I eat 1800 calories a day and only cut it to 1500 and then exercise off the remaining 200 to lose a pound a week?

Could this be any more confusing?

Hungry Day

2010-05-14T04:45:00.000-07:00

I was so hungry yesterday! I guess eating breakfast at 7:30 set me up to be hungry
by 10:30. Unfortunately, my planned snack for mid-morning had gone bad! It was a big
grapefruit that had been in the fridge a little too long, I guess--the end was all mushy and moldy.
So I ended up eating 1 oz of roasted almonds, but even after that I was still hungry and ate 1/8c of TJ's ABC trail mix. Maybe I should just be eating lunch at 11:30, but then I'll want my snack by 2:30 and be ready for dinner before work is over. I need better planning.

I am definitely feeling the hundred pushups day one after-effects. My chest and shoulders and upper back muscles are all sore. I can also feel it in my forearms, though I'm not sure if some of that is from the 21s.

I finally gave in and chowed down on lunch at 12:15. The salad was sooo good! I found the recipe over on Theodora's blog, and made half of it, as she recommended. It made quite a bit, and I served it on top of the remainder of my mesclun mix from the farmer's market, to get some greens in.

Doesn't it look awesome?

Yum!
When I was making it last night I forgot halfway through making the dressing that I was only making half the salad, and I overdid it a bit with the cayenne and jalapenos! It had a huge kick! I also put a little too much salt (I didn't measure). Next time I will measure the salt, and also make sure I have more grape tomatoes on hand. It was a little light on the tomatoes because my daughter had already made a significant dent in the pint of tomatoes.

After lunch, I had mint tea and a Dove dark chocolate, and got back down to work.

Around 3:30 I ate my 2% Fage and berries, and then dinner was chicken cooked in marsala wine and broth, mushrooms, steamed chard and steamed green beans.

My daughter didn't get to sleep until 9:30 AND I was starving AND I was exhausted, so I decided to skip my workout and eat a small snack. I had a piece of Arnold's double fiber bread with chocolate PB (omg) and some milk and went to bed by 10.

We have plans to BBQ with friends on tonight, so I hit the gym this morning. I had a great run!! I also did some ab work and rolled out my muscles with the foam roller.

If I can get home early from work, I need to clean up a bit around the house. I'm also going to try to workout again on tomorrow morning before our nanny's visit. Sunday will be a rest day.

Now I'm having oatmeal with chia seeds, raisins, 1/2 banana and PB. Yum. Have a great day!

Happy Thursday!

2010-05-13T04:14:00.000-07:00

Evening number two of the gym experiment was a success! My daughter went to sleep earlier, so I managed to get to the gym before 9pm. I did 20 minutes of the interval program (medium level) on the Arc trainer, and then switched over to the elliptical for 25 minutes. On the elliptical I did the gluteal program, and I think it was not intense enough. When I checked my heart rate, it didn't seem to be going much above 135. That is in the 60-80% range for my age, but I have been getting most of my workouts closer to the 80% range to build my cardio capacity. Maybe it was okay, but it didn't feel that hard.

After I finished my cardio, I headed to the weights and did 3 sets of 21s bicep curls with the 20 lb bar. I think I'm ready to try going up to the 30 lb, because the last set was difficult but not impossible. I'm going to try a set of 30s next time, and drop to the 20s if I can't do 30s to failure. After the 21s, I did my first day of the Hundred Pushups Challenge! I can do more than ten pushups, so my first day was 10/12/7/7/max (minimum of 9). I did it!! I managed to squeeze out 10 pushups on the last set--ow! After pushups, I did three sets of dips, and then two sets of crunches on the physioball. I rolled out my ITB, hamstrings, quads, lower back and shins with the foam roller and headed home.

I didn't go to bed without refueling a little this time, and I slept better. I ate half a pear when I got home, showered and was asleep by 11pm.

This morning, I was hangry! And totally craving an egg sandwich, so I must need the protein. I made this:

A large egg scrambled with one ounce of cheddar and a cup of steamed spinach on an Arnold's multigrain sandwich thin, with cantaloupe chunks and a cup of coffee. It hit the spot.

Now I must get ready for work. I have an awesome salad for lunch and will try to take pics.

Two in a Day!

2010-05-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

It is a gray, rainy day today, and I am feeling somewhat tired from
my first evening gym experiment. As a result, I'm not very productive
so far today. Also, I feel kind of fat, despite my exercise and good diet
yesterday. This I blame on PMS.

So I'm thinking about the things that I am looking forward to, in an attempt to
distract myself from my tight pants!

1. I have a new strategy for addressing both nighttime eating and my workouts
and sleep schedule!

2. Our nanny is coming to visit on Saturday. We haven't seen her in two months--and
I miss her!

3. I am going to meet up with a high school friend--one of my best friends from HS--
on Sunday. I haven't seen her in 15+ years. This is so so exciting!

4. In six weeks I am going to Prince Edward Island for the LM Montgomery Conference!
I'm really looking forward to it. I went to the 2000 conference and presented at the 2002 conference, but I haven't been back since. I love going to the Island, and I love talking about all things LMM! Best of all, I will get to hang out with a friend from NYC that I used to see more regularly, and haven't seen since we moved. It seemed so far away when we planned to go, and now it is in six weeks! Yay! I'm still feeling super nervous about flying. As I posted here, I wouldn't be so nervous except for my overwhelming fear of leaving my daughter motherless if something goes wrong. I'm trying to put that out of my head though, since I could just as easily have a car accident on the way to work. (Cheery, eh?)

5. Tana French's new book, coming out in July! I loved The Likeness, and I liked In the Woods. The next book carries through with the same characters, but with yet a different narrator. The first book, In the Woods, was Rob Ryan's story. The second book, The Likeness, was Cassandra Maddox's story. The third book is Frank Mackey's story.

6. The last book in the Hunger trilogy in August. I loved Hunger Games and Catching Fire.
I can't wait to read the last one!

7. Summer! Sun! BBQs! Swimming!

8. Being in shape again. I know that I am getting back on track, and I really look forward
to being back in shape and feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

Boy, I was super hungry today! I had oatmeal with chia seeds, PB and 1/2 banana at breakfast, and also ate a YoKids that my daughter opened and didn't eat. She never eats them if I put them back in the refrigerator, so I just ate it. It was small (80 cal).

For lunch, I had a salad (mesclun, red pepper, cucumber, grape tomatoes) with Annie's Goddess dressing and a 3oz pouch of tuna, and 3/4 cup of cantaloupe chunks--but I was still hungry! I ate a couple flatbread crackers and a Dove dark chocolate.

But I was hungry again by 2:30, and ate 1/2 cup of goat's milk yogurt and a couple of strawberries. And a Peppermint Patty (the mini kind).

Dinner was 2.5oz of chicken breast with breadcrumbs, cooked in broth, 1/2 kabocha squash and some leftover asparagus. While I was making it, I ate two Triscuits and a piece of cheese.

Now it is nearly 8pm, and I have to get my daughter to bed so I can get to the gym for Experiment, Day 2!

Getting Accurate Calorie Counts from Cardio Machines

2010-05-12T03:50:00.001-07:00

I tried my new experiment last night, and it was a qualified success!!
After dinner and clean-up, I got my daughter to bed (took forever) and then headed to the gym around 9pm.

Surprisingly, even with the upper respiratory infection I've been fighting, I had a great run! I didn't expect to be able to run much at all, but I was really in the mood to run, so I thought I'd try a couple miles. My first mile was a bit slow (10:56), but the second went by faster (10:11). I didn't want to overdo it my first time out in a week, so after that I did some walking and then hit the weights.

One question people ask all the time about cardio is whether or not the readouts on cardio machines is correct. The answer is a resounding NO! The machines are typically off by up to 25%. So, in other words, if it says you burned 200 calories you likely only burned 150.

My way of counteracting this and getting a readout that is closer to accurate is to enter a weight that is significantly lower than my actual weight. So if I weigh 120, I put in 95 on the weight entry at the gym. I figure I'm still not getting an exactly accurate number, but it is likely that I burn around 75-80 calories per mile when I run, versus 100-125. Last night's run/walk burned about 175 calories (150 running and another 25 walking).

I also started my "three move" weight workout last night. I did three sets of squats and two sets each of leg extension and leg curl. I felt it!

The only drawback to working out at night was that I raced home last night to see "Justified", which comes on at 10pm. It is really the only show that I watch in its actual timeslot (except sometimes Tudors) and my daughter took a long time going to sleep last night, so I only had an hour to work out. I didn't shower until AFTER "Justified" ended, so I think showering right before bed at 11pm kept me from falling asleep right away. Most nights I'll work out, come home and shower immediately, so I'll be winding down by 10:30.

"Justified" keeps getting better though, so it was worth it.

This morning I am HUNGRY!! I'm so happy that I both worked out *and* didn't snack on junk after dinner though. Maybe I should do some small refueling after the workout (half a banana or the like), but all-in-all, a positive experience. Yay!

2010-05-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Sunday's lunch was only a semi-success. K didn't really want to
be there, so we spent a lot of time managing her. The food, as expected, was
delicious, but I probably ate more than I should have. I had a little bit of
many things--spinach with cauliflower, chicken tikka, tandoori chicken, salad--
but overdid it with the bread.

Beforehand, we went to the playground, but we only lasted about ten minutes. It was
cold and windy. At least K got some time on her beloved tire swing.

Afterward, Mom & Dad and my cousin came back to our place for coffee, and after they left I took a three hour nap! K watched TV and played on the computer with Dad. I really need to do a better job of managing her screen time. It is tough because she has so much more energy than I do right now!

I didn't make it to the gym this morning (or yesterday morning)--stayed in and slept, trying to fight off this cold. I am hoping to get there this week if this cold goes away! I'm also going to start up on the 100 pushups challenge.

I'm thinking that if I can pick some basic strength work and stick to it for the next eight weeks, I should see a difference. I'm going to try doing only three moves for upper, three for lower. Mon/Thu I'm going to do pushups, 21s and dips. Tues/Fri I'm going to do squats, leg ext, and leg curl.I'm also going to do pushups on Saturdays, and do Abs M/W/F. If I can keep that up, with cardio M-F,I think I should see some positive results by July 4th. I'll be taking some basic measurements: body fat (per my Tanita), waist, hip, thigh and bicep.

The other component to this is diet. I can see that my pattern is one of emotional eating in the evenings and occasional boredom eating during the day. My eating is not bad during the day, but after dinner I tend to eat a bunch of junk that I think is sabotaging my fitness goals. I am going to aim for three meals and one snack (mid-afternoon) with a target of around 1500-1600 calories, and then stop eating after 7pm/dinner. If I feel the urge after dinner, I am going to try and use peppermint tea to quell it, and if that doesn't work, just going to bed might. I'm tired of the self-sabotage and the self-loathing that follows. I've been out of shape for too long, and we're not talking about that much weight. 8-10 lbs or so, which is really not much. I'm not even going to focus that much on the scale itself--more on my fitness and breaking these bad habits!

Another thought that I had was that maybe I could kill two birds with one stone by mixing up my usual routines and go to the gym at night. It hasn't worked for me in the past because there are so many possibilities for interruption/derailing, but I'm wondering if it might be worth trying again. If I get K to bed by 8pm (and I lay down with her for a while), I should be able to leave for/get to the gym somewhere around 9pm.
If I give myself an hour to work out, I could be home/showered and ready for bed by 10:30or so, and asleep between 10:30 and 11pm? K wakes up between 6:30 and 7 most mornings, so that would give me 7.5-8 hrs of sleep most nights.

It might be worth an experiment!

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T04:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and grandmas out there. As hard as it is being a mom, I wouldn't trade it for all the sleep, flat stomachs and free time in the world!! I love my little boo, even when she tries my patience. :o)

We had a fabulous mom and daughter day yesterday. We started with the farmer's market, which was outside for the first time this season! Unfortunately, it was kind of gray and rainy (no pictures), but luckily we managed to hit it between bouts of raining.
We picked up our favorite whole wheat sunflower millet flax bread from Our Daily Bread (from Chatham), spinach and chard from Slack Hollow Farm, country spareribs (pork) from Bornt farm, mesclun salad mix from Denison Farm (where we are doing the CSA this year--Yay!), and goat's milk yogurt from Gillis Acres Farm. I thought I'd give the goat's milk yogurt a try to see if it will help me avoid cow's milk (which has been an issue for me lately). Oh, and Baby Boo had her usual yogurt drink from Argyle Cheese Farm--she loves their Summer Blend, which has peach and raspberries. Yum.

After the farmer's market, we headed up the hill to The Children's Museum of Science and Technology (CMOST). They have a great exhibit on the Hudson River that we love! And K loved the log canoe.

After about an hour and a half at the museum, we were ready for lunch! K was starting to nod off, but managed to revive enough for a big Mickey Mouse pancake at Duncan's Dairy Bar. I had a BLT, which was delish! They also gave K a little brown bag with a muffin and lollipop and a few pieces of candy. This is a great tradition that they have been carrying on as long as I can remember. I always adored getting my "little bag" when we went to Duncan's!! Plus it is a great way to get your kids to behave through lunch, the threat of not getting it!

Then we went on to visit a friend and took a big walk around her neighborhood with her and her dog--a FRIENDLY pit bull--and during this time the clouds parted and it was lovely and sunny for us. I still slacked off with the pictures, sorry.

By then my cold was really starting to kill me and K was getting tired, and my friend had to do some things for her parents, so we headed to Hannaford to do our weekly shopping run. I love Hannaford because they have great produce and great organic options. The only thing I wish they offered is more truly organic meat (not just "All-Natural"--no hormones/no antibiotics/vegetarian feed, which is what I have to opt for). We didn't need a ton of stuff this week--mostly fruits and vegetables, organic milk and some chicken breasts, so it was a pretty quick trip.

K fell asleep in the car on the way home, so when we got home again, we chilled out with some Nick Jr. and then around 6pm had some veggie lasagna for dinner (whole grain noodles, tomato basil sauce, spinach, ricotta and tofu). K crashed around 8:15 and I was out shortly after 10pm. Phew!!

Today we are relaxing this morning, and then going to lunch with my parents and aunt here. It's one of my favorite restaurants in the area, and I'm looking forward to mother's day there! They have a great brunch.

See you later!

My Role in the Blogging World

2010-05-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

One of the topics I've been thinking about a lot lately is:

What is my place in the blogging world? Am I a Healthy Living blogger? A Mommy blogger?
A Food blogger?

Some of my favorite blogs are Eat, Live, Run, Healthy Tipping Point, and KERF. I also love the Pioneer Woman. I don't really follow any parenting blogs, but I love blogs about personal fulfillment, like The Happiness Project.

I feel like I don't exactly fit any of these places. When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I could easily have fit into the Healthy Living or Food blogging worlds. I traveled for a living (as a consultant) and my life was full of interesting meals in cities around the country. I was also very very involved in healthy living--I was a gym rat and a very active road runner. I ran six half-marathons in 2003!

But in 2007, I had a baby.

The thing I struggle with is this: inside, I still feel like that healthy living person. I love to read about nutrition, plan and eat healthy meals, go to farmer's markets, and go to the gym. I love races.

The difference is, that with a three-year-old...and a full-time job, I don't have the time to devote to these things that I used to. I still go to the gym. I still read about health and nutrition, and still go to farmer's markets and plan/eat healthy foods. I am looking forward to participating in my first full CSA this summer!

I don't have time to train for the races I used to do. I don't have the freedom to try hot yoga or biking or tai chi right now, even though I would love to do so. Instead, I am teaching my daughter to ride a scooter and going to the playground or the kiddie amusement park.

I love my daughter, but I also don't want this to be solely focused on parenting. I'm more than that.

I guess it is all about finding my identity, both as a blogger and as a person/parent. It is about balance and finding a place for all these things in my life.

How do you find balance?

Sick!

2010-05-05T15:40:00.000-07:00

We had a tough night on Saturday in the hotel--I started coming down with the cold that my daughter had, and Sunday was pretty miserable.

I did get to Trader Joe's though!! Picked up frozen naan, artichoke hearts, and chocolate croissants (yum). Also TJ's Thai green curry, Thai red curry, vodka sauce, pizza sauce, and some various trail mixes and chocolate.

I have been stewing some posts for another time, but other than that I don't have much to report. I'm laying low, trying to recover from this nasty spring cold. Yuck.

On the road

2010-05-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'm on the road today! Its a beautiful day and I hate to waste any of it in the car, but we are off to CT for an early mother's day celebration with my husband's family.

My mother-in-law is a very nice and interesting person, and has always been kind and supportive. However, it is a challenge when we go to visit. There is really not much to do at her apartment. She has no toys or books and her house isn't childproofed, so my daughter gets into all kinds of things she shouldn't. Hence I end up spending the entire visit scolding her and cleaning up messes. It is exhausting and not particularly pleasant. Today has been no exception.

This time we also have the addition of a fun night in a hotel. My daughter threw a protracted tantrum on the hotel room floor and now I get to share a bed win her. Yay.

I am looking forward to going home again. I do hope to make it to TJ's while we're here since we don't have one near home.

New Car!!

2010-04-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

Hooray!! We picked up my new car last night. It looks like this (more or less):

I'm so excited to have it. :o)

And last night, I finally got some sleep! I didn't get to the gym (AGAIN!) but at least I caught up a little on my sleep. And I'm planning to go tomorrow morning to start May off on the right foot.

I had delicious spinach salad today at lunch, with hard-boiled egg and sliced mushrooms and a sprinkle of bacon. Yum. Along with a side of fresh fruit and a chocolate chip cookie, it was a perfect lunch!

Now some dinner and early to bed.

So...Exhausted...

2010-04-29T04:13:00.001-07:00

There have been a few exciting events here, but unfortunately they've been diminished by a complete lack of sleep around here.

On Tuesday evening, when I got home, my husband announced he had built my daughter a new bed(!) and installed a garbage disposal(!!) Hurrah!

My daughter just turned three, and since she was about 1.5/2 years old, she has been sleeping in a "toddler bed". This is basically her crib, which was one of those that you can take off one side and attach small rails to make a toddler bed. Believe me, it has been no picnic trying to lay down with her in that thing! We had removed the rails with success earlier this year, so we had started to talk about getting her a regular bed one of these days.

As a stopgap, my husband built a platform bed for her toddler bed mattress. So it looks like this:

She was very excited. However! Tuesday night she fell out of bed three times. Each time required that I get up and get her back to bed by laying down with her. I felt like I was dealing with an infant again--up every two hours. I was pretty tired yesterday and crashed hard around 2pm at work. I felt like crap.

Last night was worse. She fell out of bed around 12:30 and wouldn't go back to sleep. I was up with her for over three hours, and then finally gave up and let her come in our bed because it was clear neither of us was going to get any sleep otherwise. Of course that meant that at 6:30am she started crying because she didn't want to be awake.

Me either kid, me either.

I haven't been to the gym in a couple days, and I don't feel too happy about it. But I really really really hope tonight is better.

In other exciting news, I am finally getting a car!!! We have been living in you-have-to-drive-to-get-anywhere land for over two months with only one car. We knew we would inevitably have to get another car, but were taking our time, researching, deciding. But the day has arrived.

We pick it up tonight! If I can stay awake that long...

I hate Tuesdays

2010-04-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Tuesdays are the day that I have multiple standing meetings, so I don't love them. I guess they go faster than no-meeting days.

I stayed up late finishing a book last night, so I slept in this morning until 6 with a plan to do some yoga and core work at home and then do some writing. Well.
I did some sun salutations, which was good for stretching out my legs. They're tight, I think from doing squats yesterday. But then I started sweating and losing my balance and decided it was too much to attempt pre-coffee. So I caught up on some emails and made pancakes for my daughter when she woke up.

It was good for me to have a little quiet time other than the gym, so I think I'm going to do that at least one day a week. That leaves four weekdays for the gym, which I think is sufficient given my activity level most weekends.

I didn't eat breakfast this morning other than coffee. Wasn't feeling it. I have a great hummus and veggie wrap for when I do get hungry.

Back to work for now.

Motherhood: Thoughts for a Monday night

2010-04-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

I was going to post about my run this morning, and my Green Monster, but instead tonight I find myself thinking about how being a mother changes everything.

It is embarrassing to admit, but right now I am seized with panic at the idea of taking a flight. In June. I made plans to go to a literary conference with a friend, and it will be the first flight I've taken in two years.

I am terrified that I will die in a crash and leave my daughter motherless. That she will feel abandoned. That she will think that I didn't care about her because I was selfish enough to go off to a girls' weekend and leave her behind. I know she will be well taken care of with my mother and father, who both ADORE her and are happy to take her for the weekend.

But if something happens to me, what will happen to her? Who will read her stories and make up stories that feature her as a superhero? Who will push her on the swings and kiss her skinned knees and elbows and go for ice cream? Who will embarrass her by telling her about her period and sex and all that great stuff? Someone else. Not her mom.

So I am panicking about a flight that is two months away. Did I mention that I used to fly for a living? For over six years I was a consultant and travelled constantly. Out on the 6am Monday morning flight, back on the Thursday evening flight. Did this bother me? No. Does the idea of flying to someplace I could drive to fill me with self-doubt and paranoia? Yes.

Motherhood changes you in ways that you never see coming. It's wonderful and it's terrifying. I hope I get to do it for a long long time.

Happy Monday!

2010-04-26T02:24:00.001-07:00

Time to start the week off right--off to the gym for a run!

See you later!

On Sunday we rest??

2010-04-25T12:48:00.001-07:00

It hasn't rained yet today, but it looks like it might at any time.

I have had a very busy day today. I cleaned both bathrooms from top to bottom, did three loads of laundry and baked vegan (shhh!) banana bread before 9am this morning!

I've also done lots of other prosaic things like Even More Laundry, cleaning up my desk, going through receipts and grocery shopping.

Grocery shopping was fun, at least. I went to Sam's Club first, mostly because I wanted the giant Dunkin' Donuts bags of coffee. I'm sure it makes me a Philistine, but grinding my own beans isn't working for me. It's a pain in the butt. Give me good old DD instead, pre-ground for my scooping pleasure. Thank goodness my darling husband went and bought a new coffeemaker last night. Sam's Club had some good prices on pineapple, cantaloupe and avocados, and I picked up a cute pair of summer cotton pjs with pink flamingos.

Then it was on to Hannaford for produce, yogurt and the like. Highlights were more hummus, more fresh fruit, coconut milk ice cream, and whole wheat pizza dough.

My daughter hasn't wanted to do anything today after yesterday's busy schedule, so she's hanging out on her beanbag chair with a video and I am going to sit with her and read a book.

Great day!!

2010-04-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

It was so beautiful today! 70s and sun--finally!

We had a very full day. I took my daughter out to the farmer's market first. We bought spinach, maple syrup, our favorite Sunflower Flax Millet Whole Wheat bread from Our Daily Bread in Chatham (we've been going through two loaves a week!), fiddleheads(!), scallions, potatoes and apples. And my daughter got her very favorite yogurt drink from Argyle Cheese farmers.

Then it was off to the playground for about an hour before lunch, and then this afternoon we went to the local amusement park!! I have tons of pics but they are pretty much all of my daughter and a friend's daughter, so I won't be posting them on the internet out of privacy/courtesy. But it was sunny and gorgeous and we had a great time! My daughter even went on the adult ferris wheel. I was impressed.

We wrapped it all up with soft-serve ice cream and then she napped in the car for about an hour while we ran some errands (no, we didn't leave her in the car at any point without an adult also sitting in the car).

Now we're home, and she's chilling out with a video and I am about to collapse and look for something to read.

Race Recap

2010-04-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

I did my first 5K in 5(?) years tonight!! I can hardly believe that it has been so long since I did a race--I used to do one at least one or two weekends a month. Of course that was LPB (life pre-baby).

We couldn't have had a more beautiful day for the race. It was sunny, high 50s/low 60s, clear as a bell. And what a gorgeous setting:

And a picture of me in front of the tulips looking my windblown best (ha):

It was an amazing run for a great cause--Prevention of Domestic Violence, sponsored by the Albany Bar Association. It was a different experience for me though, I must say. After years of New York Road Runner's Club races, where every race had probably 500 or more people, this relatively short race on a weather-perfect Friday, when you could sign up AT the race, had only about 300(?) people. It was so nice to not have to jostle for position and shuffle for five minutes before crossing the start. I had a banana on the way to the start.

I was running with a friend of mine from high school, Tara, and we had a great time chatting and taking it slow. I kept taking pictures, which was kind of silly, but it was so beautiful I couldn't help myself. And a big shout-out to Canon. The Powershot SD1200 IS is an amazing camera--it took great stills even when I was running and bouncing up and down.

Some race shots:

After the first half Tara wasn't feeling great, so we walked a bit and then she told me to go on ahead. I was doing the race mostly to hang with her, but at the same time I didn't want her to feel pressured to keep running at my pace either--I've run with my Dad and I know what that's like. Sometimes it is good to run with someone who pushes you to go faster...and sometimes you wish they would just go ahead so you can run your own race. Which is fine!!

So I went on ahead, which offered me the opportunity to get this great shot of Tara from across the lake (in red).

I finished in a respectable 32:30 (about 10:30/mile), which was fine for my first race in years! The spread afterwards was pretty amazing too--those lawyers know how to sponsor a race!! I didn't get photos because I was busy munching. They had orange and apple juice in addition to water, so I grabbed an OJ to replenish my glucose. They also had apples, cut oranges, bananas, wheat crackers...and pizza, pasta, chicken bites...a great spread, all from Hannaford! I had a couple buffalo chicken bites, which were delicious. Not the healthiest post-race snack, but I love me some buffalo chicken and a few bites aren't going to hurt.

Tara dropped me off at home, and I cooked up some chicken marsala, whole grain pasta and green beans almondine after I got my daughter to bed. I was hungry! I used Green Giant green beans almondine--I'm surprised more healthy food bloggers don't use these frozen packs. They come with no sauce, so its just flash-frozen veggies (which are as nutritious as fresh, sometimes more so) and you can steam them quickly in the microwave. I really like the green beans almondine, the no-sauce spinach and the no-sauce broccoli. They're great for nights you want green veggies quick without washing and chopping. I always keep some on hand.

I also baked some chocolate chip cookies--I used Pillsbury's Simply Cookies for the first time. The package makes 12, which was a perfect number. They were pretty good and didn't have odd ingredients, but I prefer to bake my own from scratch and use some whole wheat pastry flour to add some fiber. I like the taste of homemade better but these are great in a pinch. My husband had a bowl of ice cream with his, but I didn't feel like it and just had a few spoonfuls.

Then we watched Up in the Air, which was great! Since I was a travelling consultant for 6+ years, parts of this film really resonated with me. I couldn't fall asleep, so I ended up watching a little bit of Cruel Intentions too--guilty pleasure--but shut it off and went to sleep.

Good thing, because my daughter was up at 6:30!! And our coffee maker broke yesterday, so I made some french press to get me rolling.

We have a busy day planned, with trips to the farmer's market, the park/playground and meeting up with a friend at a local kiddie amusement park in the afternoon. See you later!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

2010-04-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Since my last post I:

--Quit my job of over seven years
--Moved out of NYC
--Put the place I have lived in for 12 years on the market
--Moved my family north
--Started a new job
--Restarted my running career (including a 5K tonight!)

I have lots of exciting new things to say about fulfillment and pictures to post, but at the moment I'm posting at lunch from my Droid.

More to follow--really this time!

Whew!!

2010-02-08T13:37:00.001-08:00

That is a seriously large gap between posts!

In my defense:

1. My husband was seriously ill
2. I had not yet found my groove
3. Uh, I suck

But in more exciting news, I am going to attempt to revive this sucker, even if it requires a defibrillator!

Expect new posts to come...hopefully with more direction and interesting content!

Book Review: Fiction

2009-10-27T06:44:00.001-07:00

It never ceases to amaze me how people will co-opt the New Yorker stereotype for their own purposes.

Several years ago, when I was a road warrior for a consulting firm, I listened to a woman arguing with a flight attendant and then going on and on to her seat-mate about how she was a New Yorker and she didn't stand for that sort of thing because she was from New York! Not long into the flight, it came out in conversation that not only did she live in Arizona, but she had lived there for over fifteen years--after living for a short while...on Long Island! I guess insisting that your carry-on bags *must* have a place in the overstuffed overhead compartment is good reason for taking on a super-aggressive NYC stereotype personality.

Which leads me to this week's Fiction Book Review, Confessions of a Counterfeit Farmgirl by Susan McCorkindale. Counterfeit is an understatement.

I picked this book up because it looked amusing in the bookstore. Boy am I glad I requested it from the library instead of buying it.

McCorkindale is a former marketing executive for Family Circle magazine. She worked in Manhattan, but lived in Ridgefield, NJ--an affluent suburb. Maybe it is the Manhattan snobbery I've picked up from living here for 12+ years, but working in Manhattan and living in NJ does not make you a New Yorker (or as McCorkindale says, " a New Yawka", which IMO proves she is adopting too much from TV). It makes you a Bridge-and-Tunnel-er.

The pseudo-memoir details McCorkindale's abandonment of her executive job (which she wasn't enjoying) to pursue her husband's desire to live on a farm. I thought this would be an interesting story contrasting the pressure and emotional stress of high-powered publishing executive work with the physical stress and unforeseen challenges of farming life.

I thought wrong.

The first one hundred pages are McCorkindale bemoaning the fact that she is forced to impose on her ultra-wealthy brother-in-law in his palatial mansion in Virginia, the horsey set people she meets and their cocktail parties, and the challenges of how to get a contractor to complete renovations on a farmhouse and get it decorated and furnished with butter soft leather sofas. Farming barely comes into the story.

While McCorkindale claims to be able to make friends with anyone in an instant, she is distinctly unlikeable. Her obsession with appearance and wealth make this the story of a spoiled suburban woman who attempts to recreate her suburban NJ life in Virginia and is scornful and condescending about the differences in culture between NJ and rural VA. She makes fun of the clothing choices made by her wealthy horse farm neighbors, while crowing proudly about how they react to her Carmela Soprano voice. Despite the fact that she has little to do but sit around all day in her in-laws house drinking and picking out furniture, she is so important (and as a result, impatient) that she is incredibly and inexcusably rude to people working in the local bank. She makes no attempts to embrace the choice she has made. Every chapter details how she misses her designer clothes, her stilettos, her Starbucks, her stylist and her manicures.

Everyone involved in her story is a shallow caricature, included only to highlight how "New York" (quotes here are deliberate) she is, or what a martyr she is for giving in to this absurd dream of her husband's.

Worst of all: Nothing Happens in this Book.

If you want to read a book about a woman whining about her clothes/hair/nails/interior decor and condescendingly talking about the lack of taste of those in her social circle and the lack of urban snap-to-it qualities in more rural areas of the US, then by all means, pick up this book. Otherwise, skip it.

Also, an open note to Susan McCorkindale: Please stop calling yourself a New Yorker.
You are giving New Yorkers a bad name. Be honest and tell people who you really are: a Carmela Soprano wannabe.

Book Review: Time of My Life

2009-10-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

My first book review!

This review is of Time of My Life, a novel by Allison Winn Scotch. I first noticed the book in my local Borders (downstairs in my office building--what a disaster for my credit card bills) when I was browsing before heading home. I noticed Time of My Life at the same time I found The Likeness, which I found amusing because one author is Scotch and the other is French. Silly, but it helped me remember both books' authors!

Time of My Life is the story of Jillian Westfield, who is a stay-at-home mommy living in the suburbs of NYC. Her husband (Henry) travels very frequently for work and she occupies her time with decorating their house, going to her masseuse and her thrice-a-week Pilates class, and taking power walks around the neighborhood with other moms.

Unsurprisingly (to me, anyway) she is not finding this life fulfilling, and keeps taking walks down memory lane to earlier years of her life, when she was an up-and-comer in the advertising world and living with her writer/free spirit boyfriend, Jackson.

The action starts when Jilly hears that Jackson is getting married, and dwells on this fact as her masseuse unblocks her chi (I desperately want to put "unblocks her chi" in quotation marks because it sounds semi-ridiculous)--and finds herself transported back seven years into her past.

The bulk of the story is Jilly reliving her old life, making different choices (to fight over something with Jackson, how to handle his mother, how to advance her career)--and realizing where she made mistakes in her previous life...and where she remembered things differently from how they actually *were*.

I found her navigation of her old life to be somewhat facile. She deftly dodged the mistakes she had made the first go-round and it worked every time, and didn't really end up spinning off much in the way of negative repercussions. She got a better career, she got the boyfriend she broke up the first time to propose the second time, she won over the future mother-in-law who despised her, etc. On top of all that, she got brilliant new insight into the life she'd been living seven years into the future (with Henry and her stay-at-home gig), new perspective on her husband*, and new ideas on how to get a better work-life balance.

Now granted, if we all had the opportunity to go back and do things over again, we would all want that second chance to result in much happier better outcomes.

And that's what this book is really about: wish fulfillment. Who hasn't fantasized about doing things over again? About getting the one who got away to stick around? About knowing that critical thing to launch your career to new heights? And having it all turn out with Happily Ever After?

Time of My Life is a fun, fluffy read; it just isn't very deep. If you want something to read on the beach or on a plane or during your commute, it's a fine choice. Nothing profound here, but plenty to enjoy.

*One note: I did think the perspective on her husband, while still kind of light, was something to think about. After all, what we hear from the people we love is colored by the context--and everyone jumps to incorrect conclusions from time-to-time. Taking defensive or offensive reaction out of the picture and really listening to what your spouse (or other loved one) has to say is definitely a good idea for everyone.

Blogs with a Purpose

2009-10-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

I have been reading Penelope Trunk and thinking about the purpose of this blog. I think it has a purpose, but it is kind of vague.

But thinking on fulfillment, I've been thinking about what fulfills me, what satisfies me, and one obvious answer is reading. Books. Always have. So I am going to devote at least one post a week to a book review.

I am currently reading the following:

In the Woods
Confessions of a Counterfeit Farmgirl
The Paradox of Choice
Saturday
Eclipse

and I recently finished

Time of My Life
The Likeness

I plan to write a long review of The Likeness, but first will probably review Time of My Life--quick, before I forget the details.

The Road Not Taken

2009-10-06T07:00:00.001-07:00

I just started reading a book called Time of My Life, about a thirty-something woman who finds herself back in time by seven years. She had been questioning some of her choices, and then she gets the opportunity to see if she could have done certain things differently. I've just started it, but it made me think about some of the choices I have made and how they have led to (or not led to) my own fulfillment.

For example:

In 1994, when I graduated from college, I was accepted to a Masters in Journalism program at a pretty good school. I chose not to go, because I wasn't sure if it was the right choice, and instead took the fall semester off and got a job.

And then I went back to school in winter 1995 for my MBA. Another choice that came kind of out of nowhere. Not sure why *that* was a right choice instead, but they did give me a lot of grant money.

When I graduated from business school in 1996, I was accepted into one of the top 25 law schools. I decided to defer and work for a year, because I had a lot of loans and I was offered some positions with good starting salary/bonus and upward potential. Another choice.

And the job that I took--was that the right one?

All those choices led me to the city I live in now, to the place I currently work, to my life as it stands. Would I currently be working as a writer if I'd gone to journalism school? Would I be an intellectual property lawyer if I'd gone to law school? Would I live in a different city? If I'd taken a job in DC instead of the one I did, would I be married right now? Would I live in NY? Would I have my daughter?

Who knows. I made the choices I did for the reasons that I did--and they were valid at the time. It is easy to reconsider them in hindsight.

I'm glad I have my daughter--I love her more than anything else. But I do wonder about my career and the different roads I might have taken and whether or not I would be fulfilled by my job or not. And it also reminds me that there are other paths I could explore in the future. Just because I didn't choose them then, doesn't mean I couldn't choose them again some day.

How Often to Blog?

2009-10-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

I was so irritable and upset yesterday morning that I wrote an enormous rant that I planned to post. But I thought I'd wait on it, and then I was too busy all day to post it anyway. I may still post it, but probably heavily edited.

I'm still working out how often to blog and on what topics. More on that later..

That dark time of year

2009-09-29T04:15:00.001-07:00

As it gets lighter later in the morning and darker earlier in the evening, I have less and less energy. It is harder to concentrate, I feel sluggish and it is hard to get out of bed in the morning.

I suffer from a mild case of SAD.

This is nothing new--I've had this problem for several years, but I guess I always think it isn't going to happen each fall.

It does.

I first notice it when I start to have trouble getting out of bed to go to the gym. I want to hibernate. Then I start having trouble concentrating and feeling sleepy during the day. Usually by that point, I realize that it is fall, and I haul out my lightbox and start sitting in front of it in the mornings. If I don't, it progresses on to eating too much comfort food and gaining weight, and not feeling like doing much of anything.

This year it started to come on kind of early. I have to remember that they moved the end of Daylight Savings too though, because I used to gauge things by it--but now it is a few weeks later in the year. I'm already into comfort food and comfort books, and it is just about to be October. I should have caught on sooner.

Today is my first day of getting out the light box. I've missed two days in a row of the gym because I couldn't get out of bed, and that actually contributes to the cycle since exercise also really helps. I need to dial it back on the sugar and fat--difficult with the prevalence of Halloween candy--and caffeine as well. They are all contributing factors.

I hope that within a few days I will start getting my energy back, get back on a healthier diet and more normal (for me) sleep schedule.

Anyone else have suggestions for battling SAD?

Blog Purpose: Finding Fulfillment

2009-09-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

I think I've been rambling around too much on my blog. I started this blog with the intention of exploring avenues to fulfillment and how I might reach that fulfillment in the next three years.

But I've lapsed into semi-health/fitness blogging, semi-diary reporting.

I need to refocus and get writing!

A Note on Bars (the food kind, not the alcohol kind)

2009-09-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

I finally tried Larabars, and I have to say that I'm not that excited about them. I'm disappointed because I really love the idea that they are made of nothing more than fruit, nuts and spices. Unfortunately, they just don't have much flavor IMO. I tried the Ginger Snap, which had a muted flavor of ginger but surprisingly little overall flavor. I liked the texture okay, but I wonder if these might taste better if they limited the number of fruits and nuts they used?

My nanny tried the Cherry Pie, and she reported that one didn't have much flavor either. I don't think I'll buy them again. They're too expensive and not worth it.

On the other hand, I love the Kind bars. I have tried the Fruit and Nut Kind and the Almond Apricot, and both were delicious. I prefer the Fruit/Nut because the Almond/Apricot had coconut, and I'm not a huge coconut fan--but neither had any bad taste and both were flavorful and delicious. And if you compare ingredient lists, the Kind bars are not composed of many ingredients beyond what Larabar has:

Larabar
Flavor: Ginger Snap
Ingredients:
Dates
Almonds
Pecans
Ginger
Cinnamon
Cloves
220 calories
14g fat (1g saturated)
5g fiber
5g protein

Kind
Flavor: Fruit & Nut
Ingredients:
Mixed nuts [Peanuts,almonds, brazil nuts walnuts]
Dried fruits (raisins, apricots (apricot paste, glycerol (vegetable based), pectin, apple fiber,citric acid], dates)
Honey
Glucose
Puffed rice
Linseed
Chicory fiber
Soy lecithin
170 calories
11g fat (1.5g saturated)
3g fiber
5g protein

Glucose and soy lecithin creep in there, but linseed is flax (good) and chicory fiber is just inulin (plant fiber).

On soy lecithin, according to Wikipedia, "There are studies that show soy-derived lecithin has significant effects on lowering cholesterol and triglyceride, while increasing HDL ("good cholesterol") levels in the blood [1][2]. However, studies on soy lecithin have been inconsistent and contradictory ever since the 1920s[3]."

So it may be good for you, or not, but there isn't much to indicate it is harmful in any way. It is typically used in tiny amounts.

As far as glucose goes, I'm not worrying about that in the least. It is what your body breaks everything down to anyway, and Larabar has 17g of sugars vs. Kind at 12g of sugars.

In conclusion: I'm sticking with the Kind bars. They are delicious and healthy!

Hump Day

2009-09-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a prosy day. Long meetings, everyone felt tired. I hoped to get some preschool applications done last night, but once my daughter was in bed I just wanted to veg in front of the TV.

Then last night I had leg cramps in my sleep! OW! I had to get up and walk around at about 2am to get rid of a particularly vicious one in my left lower leg (not really my calf, but more of between calf and shin on the side--what is that?).

I then proceeded to fall back asleep and sleep straight through my normal wake up time. I think the onset of fall is already affecting me. I have suffered from mild SAD (seasonal affective disorder) since high school, and some years it comes on earlier than others. I typically see it manifest itself as lethargy, difficulty concentrating and difficulty getting up in the morning. Time to get out the light box!

So I missed the gym, and instead did my Spanish homework this morning.

I had a delicious breakfast despite missing the gym. I didn't take a picture, but it was a "fried" egg (made in the microwave per Kath's directions) with half a slice of Colby cheese on an Arnold's sandwich thin. Thanks to Jenna for mentioning the sandwich thins. I had never heard of them, though I love Arnold's breads. They are wonderful and 6g of fiber per sandwich thin! Yum! I also had some late season local cantaloupe and strawberries on the side.

Got my flu shot this morning on the way to work too! Happy Wednesday!

Eliminating Black & White Thinking

2009-09-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

My gym requires registration for certain of the group exercise classes that they offer. One of these that I have attended on occasion is spin class at 6:30am.

Yesterday I signed up for spin for today. I have been running on Mon/Wed/Fri, and since I don't want to blow out my knees I've been doing an alternate activity on Tuesdays (Thursdays are Pilates day). So I figured spin would be a good option.

Except when I woke up this morning, I didn't feel like going to spin. "It runs until 7:15 and that's later than I like to be done", "I have a client meeting today and can't be late", blah blah blah. I had just about convinced myself to skip it--and throw the baby out with the bathwater in the process.

As I sat in bed, staring as the clock hit 6am, and then 6:05, I realized, why does not going to spin have to mean skipping the gym entirely? I could go and use the rowing machine. Or the Arc Trainer. Or whatever. I could be done by 7. Or 6:45. Just because I signed up for spin and didn't feel like it didn't mean I had to skip working out. I wasn't violating a law of the universe by backing out of going to spin class.

So I talked myself back into going to the gym. I got there by 6:20 and did 30 minutes on the elliptical and was home by 7-ish. In to work by 8:30, in plenty of time for my client meeting. And I felt good about it.

One of my problems in the past has been this type of black-and-white thinking. If I've planned to run five miles, then anything other than a five mile run=FAILURE.

But it's just not true. If I planned a five mile run and I only run 2 miles, I've still gone out and done something good for my health. Something that makes me feel good. And maybe 2 miles *is* what is the right thing for that day and 5 miles would be the wrong choice, leading to injury or overtraining.

I'm learning.

TGIF

2009-09-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad it is Friday, even though it is going to be a tough one. Work is really challenging right now, and in a difficult way not an invigorating way.

I missed my morning workout today because I had to do a 12 hour fast for blood work for my life insurance. Because I knew they were going to do my height/weight as well as other vitals (BP, urine, blood work), I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time since September 1st...and I am down about 1.5 lbs. I think my "eat when I'm hungry, don't eat if I'm not" intuitive approach, along with more consistent exercise is working for me. I'm eating pretty clean food, and I am fitting back into the pants that I wore pre-preg. Yay!! I just have to resist the programmed idea that now that I'm losing I should diet. WRONG! I should keep doing what I'm doing.

On the topic of intuitive eating, since I couldn't eat before my appt this morning, I stopped at Starbucks for Perfect Oatmeal on my way to the office. I have heard lots of people give positive reviews to the Pumpkin Spice latte, and since I hadn't had coffee either, I thought I'd give it a try. My first sip, I thought "Too sweet". But I thought maybe I needed to give it a chance, maybe it would grow on me. I've been sitting at my desk and I took another sip or two and, well, I just don't like it. It is too sweet and too artificial tasting for me. I didn't have coffee this morning, but I've decided I'm going to dump it. There is no point in drinking something that doesn't taste good!

I'll have to get some regular coffee in a bit to avoid the infamous caffeine headache.

Thursday Already?!!

2009-09-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

This week has been flying by! Spanish class is great--I have the most fantastic teacher ever. I had a great Pilates class this morning, gave my core a real workout and a Vinyasa yoga class on Monday night that reduced me to a pulp. With running to complement it on Monday and Wednesday, this has been a good exercise week so far!

Work is nonstop; I have had four days in a row of all-day meetings and I am cramming in the work I need to do in the evenings and early mornings. I fear I shall have to write documentation this weekend while my daughter naps. Wah.

This is particularly tragic because I borrowed the second Twilight book, New Moon (save me) and I am ridiculously excited about reading it. I complained a lot about the first one and where it was poorly written and had terrible female role models, but I still couldn't put it down and want to read the sequel. Obviously there is some hook in there! I was hoping to devour it over the weekend, but between work documentation and preschool applications, it will be much harder to squeeze it in. I bet I'll manage though. :-)

I never did a Labor Day weekend recap OR a cheese tour recap, but since my week has so far been devoid of photos, I'll throw some in now.

Labor Day weekend we spent up at the lake, and it was my mom's birthday, so we had a celebration that included lobsters (which my daughter called "monsters"--quite hilarious) and cupcakes. Unfortunately mom has all those pictures on her camera!

During the day we went to the beach and K got to hang out with Grandpa in his kayak.
We also did some swimming off the boat on Sunday, and swimming at the beach on Monday.

We also had a great harvest of cherry tomatoes from our plants! K loves to pick and eat them, so this bowl only represents about a third of the tomatoes we had the past two weekends.
The plants have really been thriving.

Last weekend, we did the Washington County Cheese Tour, which was great fun. Unfortunately it rained in the morning, interrupting our visit to Consider Bardwell Farm, which was a lovely farm with historical buildings I would love to explore more--but it was pouring rain and I was the moron with no raincoat or umbrella. In my defense I wasn't in my own car (which always has an umbrella), but I did feel a bit silly since I made sure my daughter had her raincoat before we left!! We bought a delicious cheese there called Dorset, a raw cow's milk cheese. K enjoyed trying the samples and seeing baby goats (they do goat and cow milk cheeses), and the people there were really lovely. No pictures though, sadly, because of the rain.

We went on to Granville, where we ate at the Pine Grove diner which was wonderful. The food was good, the service was pleasant (even had crayons and *coloring book* for my daughter) and we waited out the rain. They had a really cool canoe on the wall--hand-made by the husband of our server! It was truly gorgeous.

We proceeded on to Argyle Cheese Farm where we got delicious Greek yogurt from our favorite folks that we visit at the Troy Farmer's Market with my parents. They have a beautiful view--my picture doesn't do it justice. My daughter napped in the car while we were there, but afterward she thoroughly enjoyed eating blueberries and yogurt from the farm.

From Argyle, we headed south to Sweet Spring Farm, which was lovely. They had a beautiful farmhouse. They also had lots of goats that my daughter fed grass to and got to pet, which she really enjoyed. And it was getting downright sunny and warm!!

From there we went on to the last farm on the tour, Longview Farm, which unfortunately does not have its own website. It was a really wonderful tour for us because they had so many animals!

Chickens

Calf and Cow

Pigs

Goats

I got a delicious cheese that is called High Rock (Gruyere-like) and my mom got their Saratoga Sunflower (cheddar-type). I also got a goat's milk soap shaped like an egg, and K and I enjoyed oatmeal raisin and molasses cookies as we went to see the Billy Goat and Baby Goats on pasture.

It was a great day!!

I'm going to stop now, because that is one long post. Plenty of pictures though!

ETA: I need to get better at laying out my entries and photos!

Exciting Week!!

2009-09-14T08:37:00.001-07:00

I have been looking forward to this week--Tonight I start my Spanish class!! I am planning to attend Spanish on Monday evenings and then go straight to Vinyasa Yoga, so Mondays are going to be very busy for me.

I started off this morning with a 25 minute HIIT run (~2.5 miles), followed by pushups (doing the Hundred Pushups Challenge), bicep curls and leg extensions.

Once home, I ate a bunch of cherry tomatoes from our most recent harvest. My daughter loves them. She was noshing on them, so I started eating the ones that had split because they were so ripe. Yum! I then had Jenna's Overnight Oats with almond butter and 1/2 banana and some OJ.

I packed up lunch and dinner, including leftover black beans & rice, an apple, a small Italian plum, organic red grapes, a Chobani, and sliced green and red peppers and carrot sticks with hummus. Hopefully that will be enough to last me lunch and dinner, but if not I also have a Ginger Snap Larabar.

This will be a busy week--Spanish and yoga tonight, Spanish on Wednesday, and Pilates Thursday morning alongside my usual workouts, work and Mom duties. I'm looking forward to it! Also, my daughter starts her Tap/Ballet class this week.

September 11th

2009-09-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Plenty of work to do again today, on a rainy Friday. I am working from home to avoid the madness of downtown--and due to a little bit of superstition. Eight years ago I lived in Manhattan, but I was in China at the time on an adoption trip with my sister-in-law. We couldn't get any news in English for two days and the internet was a lifeline to our loved ones back in NYC.

I know many people who made narrow escapes from the Twin Towers, and a few who were lost. RIP. May such a thing never happen again.

I feel weird talking about my breakfast in this post, so I'm going to end here.

Gah! Thursday Already!!

2009-09-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

I started a post and didn't get to finish it yesterday, and then overnight my computer rebooted itself (darn MS install), so I lost it. Boo.

So this is just a quick post to say hello, and I'll have to give a long-weekend-recap later (over the weekend?! how sad).

I'm on a second day of reverting to vegetarianism. I've not talked about it here, but I was an on-again, off-again vegetarian from the time I was about 15, and "on" for several years before getting pregnant 3+ years ago. My first trimester was all about rotisserie chicken.

I didn't get back into vegetarian eating while I was pregnant (though I did eat tons and tons of fresh produce) and breastfeeding, and now that I'm neither...well, I'm not back there out of sheer convenience. My husband is a picky omnivore, and it has been much easier to just make whatever he and my daughter could both eat.

Now, however, she has shown a clear preference for lacto-ovo vegetarianism. She doesn't like chicken or beef. Pork seems to be the only meat she will eat--in the form of bacon or ham or Shake-n-Bake pork chop. Since I don't cook pork very often, we're leaning more and more toward vegetarianism around our house.

Today's menu and yesterday's menu have been identical so far. Breakfast was oatmeal with almond butter (though today it had raisins AND cranberries and flax, yesterday just raisins) and coffee. Lunch was a small tomato basil soup and half an avocado/basil/pine nut/parmesan/tomato sandwich from Pret (great fresh, mostly organic, sometimes local food). And lots of water and herbal tea.

Yesterday afternoon I ate one of these for a snack around 4pm.

It was delicious! I think I have the Almond Apricot one left for today.

Must go off to a meeting, but this weekend's activity might be The Washington County Cheese Tour with my mom and cousin. More on that later!

Long Weekend!!

2009-09-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was so busy I didn't have a chance to write a blog post at all!

I was also strangely not hungry yesterday. I made oatmeal for breakfast and when my daughter ate it all, I went to work without breakfast--and it was a non-issue. I ate a Kashi granola bar around 10:30, and then 2/3 of a sandwich at lunch and was fine. No snacking all day. Maybe because I have a cold or maybe because I haven't been working out this week, but my appetite is almost nothing.

I had lunch with the husband and afterwards we took a walk through Battery Park. I had to whip out my camera and take a picture of the Statue of Liberty through the trees. (That guy is not my husband--just a random person talking on his phone I didn't realize was in the foreground of the picture!) It was such a beautiful day, and I need to be reminded on occasion that there are these amazing things right in my backyard that people travel to visit. I shouldn't take them for granted. For years when I worked on Fifth avenue I always looked north to the Empire State Building and south to the World Trade Center and took in that moment of seeing historical landmarks in both directions as I crossed the street to the office. Now that the Twin Towers are gone, I value that I did that every day. So I am trying to be cognizant of my surroundings and take moments of gratitude every day.

Last night we had pizza from one of our favorite places--very thin crust, nice fresh toppings, not too greasy--topped with fresh garlic on one side and artichoke hearts and fresh mozzarella on the other. I could only manage two pieces with difficulty, and when I started a third I had to spit it out. No appetite!

After pizza we hit the road to head north for the long weekend. The weather is supposed to be beautiful and I'm really looking forward to it. My parents are coming up tonight (yay for babysitting help!) and we are celebrating both their birthdays on Saturday.

I'm still not hungry this morning--weird. I've been up for two hours and nothing.
Maybe some sun and fresh air and boating will help. Have a great weekend!

Back to Work

2009-09-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

Well, after two days at home trying to contain my germs, I am back at the office. Hopefully I am not still contagious. It does just appear to be a cold.

Unfortunately, I am not back to the gym. I am going to try and pick back up after the Labor Day weekend--give myself a few days rest and then get back on track. I nursed myself Monday and Tuesday with lots of tea and chicken soup and whatever felt good on my sore throat (Ciao Bella gelato).

Today I am back on healthy food, and trying to also increase my intake of raw foods. I had a green smoothie this morning--2c spinach, 1c orange juice, 1 banana and 1/2c blueberries. Lunch so far is a bucket of romaine, grape tomatoes, carrot, cucumber, bell pepper and "dressing" that I made out of tahini, lemon juice and some pureed carrot and cucumber. The dressing isn't really thin enough though. I'll have to look up some recipes. I also have strawberries, 1/2 a tomato, an apple and a banana in case I get hungry. I'm tired of chewing from the enormous salad, but I'm not sure how long it will hold me.

Still Feeling Lousy

2009-09-01T05:52:00.001-07:00

Which is a shame since the weather is so beautiful--sunny and low 70s. I love this weather.

I definitely have a cold of some variety, which seems to have moved further into my chest overnight. Toast and tea again this morning, and no gym. What a bummer.

I am going to try and do the IE/no weighing thing this month. Also going to try the writing blocks during the week. I think it is hopeless to completely cut TV and internet recreation (especially today--there will be TV!), but I am going to try and contain my internet reading to once in the AM and once in the PM so I am not checking a bazillion websites every day. Bed at 9:30 seems like a good plan.

I am feeling blah, so maybe I'll post further thoughts later.

Thoughts on September

2009-08-31T12:11:00.001-07:00

So here are some of the ideas I'm toying with for September. I plan to continue going to the gym on weekdays (including my new Pilates class!).

I am definitely adding my Spanish class, which runs for five weeks (8 classes). In addition, I am thinking about:

1. Adding three one-hour blocks of writing to my weekly schedule (more when possible)
2. Eliminating all recreational use of television and the internet for the month of September (in other words, no TV except to check the weather, no internet except what my job requires and looking something specific up on Wiki or other, containing my email checking to three times a day at the office and not on weekends).
3. Going to bed with lights out by 9:30pm, no exceptions
4. Not weighing myself, counting calories or points, and eating completely intuitively (eat when hungry, stop when no longer hungry, making healthy choices)

These are some of my initial thoughts.

Monday Blues

2009-08-31T06:06:00.001-07:00

I am feeling under the weather this morning so I skipped the gym and I am staying home from work in my pajamas today. I probably will do some work, but mostly I am going to sleep and try to recuperate so I can get back to normal the rest of the week.

The weekend was okay--rained all day on Saturday, so we didn't do much. Went to Walmart for diapers and returned some overdue library books. I took a two hour nap with kiddo in the afternoon. It was pretty low key. We had a fire in the fireplace.

We had friends visiting with their three boys, so there was much video game playing. They also were kind enough to play with a little girl :o), so there was coloring with markers, doing of jigsaw puzzles, and lots of running around the house giggling. We had spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread and salad for dinner--a good hearty cold rainy day kind of dinner. I ate too much though!! It was so tasty.

Sunday was nicer--sunny, at least--so baby girl and I went to the beach. She wanted to go in the water, but it was COLD!! It was only in the mid-sixties and there was a wind, so even though the sun was shining, it was chilly. We went in for a little bit, but then got out and played in the sand. After a while even that was too cold, so we changed clothes and played on the playground a little bit, and then went home for some soup! We had planned to eat at the beach, but hadn't counted on the wind.

After that, it was pretty much time to head back to the city. The drive wasn't too bad since we got on the road right after lunch, and we were home in time for pizza for dinner--with fresh garlic and artichoke hearts and olives. Delicious!! My weekend was a bit carb/cheese heavy, but I'll compensate this week. We had a big delivery of fresh produce from Fresh Direct this morning--cauliflower, carrots, sweet potatoes, peppers, mango, apples, blueberries. Yum!

I'm feeling pretty lousy though. Sore throat, congestion seems to be coming on, so I just had some tea and toast with honey and I'm returning to bed. I can't believe tomorrow is September already!! I did pretty well in August with my attempts to exercise daily. Tomorrow I'll have a post about what I'm going to take on in September.

Rainy Days and Fridays??

2009-08-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

It is a gray rainy day here in NYC.

I felt a bit off this morning when I woke up at 5:30. I'm off the alarm these days, btw--don't need it. I thought maybe I should go back to bed and get more sleep b/c I might be coming down with a cold. Then something kicked in and I found myself dressing and walking to the gym. Maybe that 21 day habit thing is finally kicking in!!

I had a bit of banana before the gym. I did 32 minutes of HIIT running on the treadmill (3.25 miles) with a walk warmup and cooldown and some brief stretching. Then it was a visit to my fruit guy (the fruit stand outside the gym) to stock up on bananas and home for breakfast.

Breakfast today was oatmeal with the rest of the banana, blueberries and almond butter. I made a bowl for my daughter with blueberries and brown sugar (and also eventually dried cranberries) so she wouldn't eat all of mine. Delicious looking, no? Again, my pictures are rotating for some reason. Must be size. I will have to look into that!

I still feel a bit punkish, so I'm having a cup of tea. I also had an Emergen-C this morning, just in case.

Last night K and I made whole grain banana bread! She is only 2, so her participation involved dumping premeasured flour into the bowl and throwing dirty measuring cups and spoons into the sink. And sampling the finished product. :o)
I made the bread with 1/2c of whole wheat flour and 1 1/4c organic pastry flour, which is higher in fiber than regular pastry flour. I usually add ground flax seed as well, but I didn't this time around. The finished product was beautiful and tasty!

Tonight we will be heading upstate for a rainy weekend with friends. I'm sorry that the weather forecast isn't better--it's not so fun to spend a weekend in the rain with a bunch of kids in the house. And everyone in my family either has a cold or feels like they are getting one, so that makes for a super fun weekend too. In the rain.

Stress/Boredom/Overtired Eating

2009-08-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

I think it is not safe for me to keep trail mix in the house. It is just too tempting for me to have a big bag of it in the house or in the office. It is so delicious!! I just ate what is probably more than a serving, and just because it was so tasty.

I am going to make a concerted effort to keep more fresh fruit available and more fruit/veg cut up in the fridge for easy snacking. It is also important for me to keep snacks available for when I work too long and get hungry.

However, trail mix is too dangerous. I know I ate the trail mix because I got poor sleep last night, and I wouldn't have if it wasn't just sitting there.

Sleepless Night

2009-08-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

My daughter did *not* want to go to sleep last night. We started at about 8pm with pjs and books, and proceeded on to singing songs and snuggling. Every time I tried to leave her room (when I thought she was dosing off), she would say "No Mommy, I need you!" and start crying. I thought she was having a needy night, and apparently she was because on the thirty-eleventh time, I finally said, "No, Mommy has to go in her own bed" and left. She cried for about ten minutes and then went to sleep.

I nearly cried when I realized it was 9:45pm when I left her room!! I didn't get anything done that I wanted to do AND I didn't get to bed early, which I hoped to do. I was very very cranky.

On top of that, my daughter woke up crying at 2am (which woke me up) and then went back to sleep without intervention, but woke again around 4:30. I asked my husband to see if she was wet (she drank a ton of water at bedtime), so he changed her and I heard her crying and saying "I need my mommy". So he brought her into bed with us, but that basically resulted in no one really going back to sleep. We all dozed until about 5:30 and then gave up.

I felt like crap, but I had my first 7am Pilates class this morning, so I hauled myself out around 6:15 or so to walk to the studio.

After class I felt great!! I'm tired now, but I felt so much better after class. It stretched me out and I feel stronger and more energized from working on my core.
I can't wait until next week!

After class, I had a plain Oikos with Cascadian Farms granola and half a banana. I decided to work from home because I need to be uninterrupted to work on writing some documentation. Around ten I was hungry again, so I ate a piece of Ezekiel toast with homemade strawberry jam and a cup of tea. Now it is noon, and I am hungry again! The jam was a little too sweet for my palate and I think maybe it didn't hold me. Next time I'll try a nut butter instead.

The husband is going to a concert at Jones Beach tonight, so it'll be just me and the kid for dinner tonight. I have to figure out what we're having. And as soon as I get off my current conference call, I need to figure out lunch! And return some library books also...

Happy Hump Day!

2009-08-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe this is the last week of August. Next week is September already!!

I'm not sure why, but I've been slacking off on photographing my breakfast. I guess because I've been getting other things done in the morning--cleaning up the kitchen, doing some reading--so I've been skipping that and the blog looks so plain as a result! I have lots of pictures of my daughter, but none of food or the city. Sorry!

Yesterday was a pretty good day, though I slept restlessly Monday night. I got up early and cranked out 30 min on the Arc trainer and then had a big bowl of oatmeal with dried cherries and raisins afterward. Full day at work, and in bed by 9pm last night!

Unfortunately, it was another restless night--I woke up a couple times, once with stomach cramps (what gives?), but by morning I felt fine. I tried having a pre-workout snack this morning of half a small banana with almond butter. Then I did my run and ended up going for about 36 minutes/3.5 miles. I was able to zone out for the first time in ages!! I always used to be able to think about other things, but since becoming a mom (be it the toll of pregnancy and hormones or the sleep deprivation) I've only been able to concentrate on continuing to run. That changed today!! Hurrah!!

Afterwards I had a green smoothie made with 2c spinach, a peach, firm tofu and orange juice and a small bowl of oatmeal with dried cranberries. Yum!! I'm feeling pretty full now (2 hrs later!). I probably didn't need both. I'd made the oatmeal figuring my daughter would eat half or all of it, and she didn't. Have to watch my tendency to eat her food--it's a bad habit that moms sometimes get into and it can pack on the pounds.

Another full day ahead at work, but hopefully tonight will be better sleep because tomorrow I have Pilates! I'm really looking forward to it. The instructor is great and I haven't done it in a long time. I think it will help bring my core back.

In other news, I'm reading ,u>Harry, A History about the Harry Potter fandom, and really enjoying it. It makes me feel nostalgic for the heyday of the HP fandom. *sigh*

Good Morning!!

2009-08-24T05:06:00.001-07:00

At last it looks like it is going to be a less humid day! It was only 70 when I went to the gym this morning (at 5:40), and it feels so much better. It is supposed to be beautiful today and tomorrow.

I had a great run this morning--incorporating HIIT--and ran a full 3.5 miles with no walk break (hurrah!). It felt GREAT and I am also wearing pants today that I haven't been able to wear in a while. Hurrah again!! I haven't lost much weight in the past few months, but I am seeing a definite change in body composition. I'll take it!! I don't really care so much about the number on the scale as long as I fit in my clothes and feel good.

Breakfast was a green smoothie made with 2c spinach, Nasoya Firm Lite tofu, OJ with calcium, and a peach. Yum! I hope it will hold me until lunch.

I'm already on a conference call this morning, so it looks to be a busy week. More later, and maybe with some pictures from the weekend.

Sunday Blues

2009-08-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy weekend. Baby Girl and I didn't end up going upstate, which leaves my poor husband abandoned for a ride back. And on his birthday too. His 40th birthday.

I'm a horrible person.

Yesterday we went to the farmer's market and bought delicious peaches, tomatoes, watermelon and an orange pepper. Then we hit the playground for a while, and in the afternoon K took a nice nap and I did too! Mostly I read The Drowning Tree by Carol Goodman. It never made it onto my list in the left column there because I started and finished it all in one day! We also watched a fair amount of Noggin.

This morning we went to Appleseeds for a while, and then went and bought cake for a birthday celebration tonight. K picked out a cupcake and I picked a mini cheesecake for DH. I'll have a bite of theirs, but didn't get anything for myself. I ate a bit too much yesterday, so I should really back off the treats today.

Now K is getting ready for her nap, and I am trying to figure out what to do while she sleeps. Clean out the freezer? (which needs it) Work on Powerpoint for a meeting for Monday? Write long overdue thank you notes? Go through my receipts? Read another book?

Hmmm...

TGIF!

2009-08-21T05:44:00.000-07:00

I'll be even more thankful if the humidity finally breaks. It was 79 when I went to the gym at 5:45 this morning. Ugh. The air felt thick.

I have to admit that I have not been adhering to my schedule. I'm still doing my 30+ minutes of exercise, but it isn't always working out according to plan. I have to take into account the state of my knees and ankles so I don't compromise anything and end up unable to exercise at all.

This morning I decided to do the elliptical, since I did the Arc Trainer (or as Kath calls it, the "squirrelliptical") on Tuesday and I ran yesterday. After 30 minutes of that I did some lumbar and ab work (gotta strengthen that core!) and headed home.

Breakfast was a packet of Amazing Meal (original) with 2c spinach, a cup of water and 1/2c of orange juice, and a Fage Total 2% Greek yogurt with blueberries, 1/2 banana and Fresh Direct Harvest Fruit/Nut Granola. The smoothie was a bit swampy--you couldn't taste the oj at all, so it was a bit too leafy, but the yogurt was delicious! And my daughter only ate a few spoonfuls this time. :o)

Side note--bizarro, but the blog uploads my picture rotated 90 degrees. Weird, eh?

I have plenty to do today--meeting an old friend for lunch, work to do, hopefully heading upstate if the weather doesn't get too bad. Must get going!

Humidity

2009-08-20T06:49:00.001-07:00

I am just feeling so wiped out today. It has been in the 90s all week, but worse than that it is so humid. Ugh!

I hit the gym at just before 6am and it was already 76 degrees and humid. I did 3 miles on the treadmill and some walking as well, but I was slower than my run on Monday and drank 32oz of water. I think it is partly the heat, but I am also probably slightly more sleep deprived than I was on Monday. Afterward my legs felt so heavy. Walking up the stairs from the subway on the way to the office, they felt like lead.

When I got home, I hit the showers and then had a bowl of Nature's Path Multibran Flax Plus flakes with Tristar strawberries and skim milk. It was just what the doctor ordered--filling, but not too heavy on such a hot day, and lots of fiber!

I have a full work day today, and then tonight my husband and I are going to a panel on Preschool Admissions. I can't believe we are paying to learn about the application process for preschool, but we need to get applications in soon--in a week or two--and we need to know what we're up against. Clearly, this is one of the perks of living in Manhattan. Not. When I went to preschool, I'm pretty sure my parents just registered me a few weeks before and I went. There was no year lead-time, college-like essay questions and lottery systems. Ugh. I am going to do my best not to get wrapped up in the craziness, though I feel like this panel is already a step down the wrong path.

We're just educating ourselves, right? We don't have to get caught in the fervor of getting in to the "right" preschool. How "right" can a preschool really be? These kids are aged two, three and four. The craziness of our hyperachieving society (esp in NYC) makes me nuts sometimes.

Anyway, must get to my first meeting of the day.

Great Morning!!

2009-08-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

I did some work this morning and then had a big bowl of fruit with Fage Total 2% Greek yogurt and Fresh Direct Harvest Fruit Nut granola on top. My daughter, who didn't want any breakfast (ha), then asked "Mommy, can I eat it all by myself?" I offered to make her a bowl of her own, but in typical two-year-old fashion she said, "No Mommy, I want to eat yours" and proceeded to eat a good portion of my breakfast. Then again, who could resist?
Look how delicious!

After breakfast I had planned to go to work early and my husband was going to wait for the babysitter to arrive, but he had a big meeting, so I decided to take K in the stroller and walk down to the Union Square Farmer's Market before work. I love getting there at 8am: it isn't crowded, everything is so fresh, and it isn't hot (or it's less hot, in the case of today). I couldn't resist taking some pictures. Look at the gorgeous fruits and vegetables!

We bought green beans and a seedless watermelon from Migliorelli Farms. K wanted to carry the watermelon herself, and then she said, "Take a picture of me with the watermelon Mommy!"
So I did.

I also bought cheddar cheese from PA, peaches from Terhune Orchards (the best peaches around!), more Tristar strawberries (which K ate right away), and then we called it a day.

On the way in to work, I stopped at Trader Joe's for some trail mix, which I snacked on when I got here. Yum! And all-in-all, I walked for over an hour pushing a 25+lb stroller, so got in some exercise too!

Hump Day--already!

2009-08-19T02:42:00.000-07:00

One thing to say for a full work week--time sure flies when you don't have enough of it!

I'm feeling sore and creaky this morning, so I'm going to take a break from the gym and do some work instead. I'll try to get in some walking and stretching, and otherwise shift my running. Have to pay attention to my body!

Have a great day everyone

Busy Week!

2009-08-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have tons of work to do this week, so of course I'm blogging!

Yesterday was a very full day. I hit the gym early, around 5:45, and did a good 45 minutes on the treadmill. Breakfast was a green smoothie--spinach, blueberries and Pomegranate Mango Amazing Meal. I think I prefer the Berry Superfood to the PomMango. The PomMango had a little too much artificial taste to it for me. My daughter wasn't a fan either--she usually begs for her own and I pour some in a little cup for her, and this time she up-ended it on the table and declared it "Yucky". We'll stick to the other stuff from here on.

On my way into work yesterday I bought some beautiful sunflowers at the farmer's market to make my office cheery. I meant to photograph them, but I neglected to do so. Sorry sunflowers. I had a meeting-filled day at work, and then hit the library to pick up some books on hold on my way home. I got Monica Seles' new autobiography, which I'm really looking forward to, as well as some fiction (Ruth Rendell and Carol Goodman) for relaxation.

I also got my ID and my book for the Spanish class I am starting in September! I can't wait!! I felt all excited as soon as I walked into the building. I just love going to school. The last classes I took were back in 2004, when I stopped due to the increased demands of my job. I've missed it--but hey, I've been busy with work and having a baby and all since then, and those things have been a learning experience as well.

I made beans and rice for dinner, and then I went to a Vinyasa Yoga class! I've been wanting to get to yoga, but the schedule of classes at my gym is tough for my schedule. There are no classes in the morning, and the evening classes fall either right around my daughter's dinner time or right around her bedtime. Last night, her dad did the bedtime so I could hit yoga. Boy are my muscles tight! I did much better than I expected to, but I have a long way to go. I hope to go again soon, though I know this week is out. The only other evening class is on Wednesday and my husband has a prior engagement. Oh well.

I slept like a rock after all that stretching, and popped up at 5:20 this morning to hit the gym again. I was feeling a bit sore from the yoga, so I decided to forego the weight lifting and spin class, and did 30 minutes on the Arc trainer instead. Then some core work on the physioball, and I was done for the day.

Breakfast was an egg on a high fiber English muffin, with cantaloupe and watermelon on the side. I love melon season.

Lots to do today, and it is going to be hot out again! Today is day three of a 90+ heat wave. No exercise planned for tonight. I'll probably just hang out with my daughter and do some reading (if I get all my work done).

Vacation Over!

2009-08-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am buried under the mound of work that has been waiting for me while I was out last week. I have vacation updates and lots to say, so I'll post more later!

Beautiful Tuesday

2009-08-11T07:05:00.001-07:00

Originally it was forecast for rain all day today, but it is beautiful and sunny.

I worked all day yesterday and didn't exercise. I ate terribly--almost a whole box of Crunch n' Munch, full fat homemade French vanilla ice cream (egg yolks, heavy cream and half n' half!), and a bacon, lettuce, tomato and avocado sandwich for lunch. Egad! Fat-tastic!

And I didn't exercise.

I'm trying to get back on track today. I'm working again this morning, but I had a blueberry spinach smoothie and some coffee. I'm trying to stick to veggies, fruits and whole grains today. If I can, I'm going to try and get some exercise in, but it is always difficult for me to get it in if I don't go early in the AM. Tough when I'm on vacation with no child care and no gym--but I can try to get in a swim, maybe.

I'm resenting the hell out of work because I'm having to work on my vacation, but hopefully I can wrap it up today.

Weekend and Another Monday

2009-08-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

The weekend was a bit busy. In addition to family being at our house, we also had friends of that family visiting, so I didn't have much chance to get online.

Today, though I am supposed to be on vacation, I am working. This annoys me greatly.
I suppose I am letting it happen, but there are a number of driving forces--namely:

No one on my team has gotten to take vacation all summer, so it seems fair

The economy sucks and I don't want to get fired

The weather is semi-crappy today and crappy tomorrow, and I'd rather get it out of the way now than have to work Wed-Fri.

So here I am, working. My daughter is at the beach with her cousins.

Ratcheting it down a notch

2009-08-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today was a frazzling day. I had too much work on my plate and overcomplicated it because I was anxious about getting it right. I had a list of errands I planned to do. I didn't exercise in the morning.

So I ended up not exercising at all, feeling burned out and eating some comfort ice cream this evening. None of these things are the end of the world.

Hear that self? None of these things are the end of the world

Go to bed. Get a good night's sleep. Exercise tomorrow morning. Eat a good breakfast. Breathe. Walk around the farmer's market. Take a day off. Work will still be there on Sunday. Or Monday morning.

Take a step back to collect yourself. Then move forward.

Friday--Hurrah!!

2009-08-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

It is a beautiful day in New York State. I'd like to be out enjoying it, but I have a ton of work to do. Short post today because I want to get through the work as fast as possible and start my vacation!

No exercise yet this morning, but I'm hoping to get a run in before the day is out, per my 30 day 30 minute challenge. Breakfast was not too exciting coffee and skim milk and 1/2 a whole grain English muffin with a tsp of peanut butter as I ran out the door. I'm going to be hungry again soon I'm sure.

I have to get on with it, but here's a lovely shot of the Brooklyn Bridge from my walk to work on Tuesday morning. Have a great day!

Good Morning!

2009-08-06T05:52:00.000-07:00

It is a beautiful day here in NYC!! A cold front moved in overnight and replaced the 93% humidity and 80 degree temperatures with pleasant temps in the 70s and humidity in the 60%s. Much nicer!!

I was in the middle of a dream when the alarm went off this morning, so it took me a few minutes to realize it was buzzing. I got up at 5:45 and was pleasantly surprised to discover the beautiful new weather on my walk to the gym.

I did 30 min on the Arc trainer (after yesterday's HIIT run--yow), and came home to this: Fresh Farmer's Market Berries!! These are the best strawberries in the world--a cross between wild and farmed. I think the farm that sells them calls them "Tristar". My daughter devoured the remainder of the pint you see.

I also had some leftover raspberries, which I added, and then topped the whole thing with Fage 2% Greek yogurt and a couple tablespoons of Fresh Direct Harvest Fruit & Almond granola. Delicious!! That along with a cup of coffee and a piece of Ezekiel 7 Grain Sprouted toast with 1 tsp natural peanut butter (which my daughter scarfed half of), and I was set for the morning.

At work before 8:30 and ready to face the day.

Conflicted

2009-08-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

As much as I love NYC--heck, I photographed things on my walk to work this morning so I can do a NYC photo series on this blog--I can't escape the feeling that I want to leave.

Everything seems too hard. Real estate. Schools. There is such a level of competition for everything that it is difficult to get something reasonable with a reasonable amount of effort. For the price of a one bedroom apartment in NYC, you can have a whole house with multiple bedrooms and bathrooms in the suburbs. Kids have to fight for the privilege of paying a king's ransom to go to preschool, for God's sake.

I don't know how much of this is inertia-fatigue. I've lived in the same apartment for eleven years. I've worked at the same company for seven. Maybe I am just longing for a change.

But I feel apathy seeping in. I don't have the same energy for things that I used to and I don't appreciate things that I once did. This is one of the most interesting, vibrant places on the planet--but I don't get out and enjoy it like I could because I feel like a wet dishrag.

Maybe I'm in a rut. I feel intimidated by the cost of living here and the economy and the job market. I feel overwhelmed by the prospect of looking for my calling in life. It is exhausting.

I think the best approach is to try and shake things up. I don't think I can do that dramatically, given my current circumstances, but I can take baby steps in that direction.

How do you get out of a rut?

Monday Again

2009-08-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I headed out for my run/walk yesterday and it was so nice out, I ended up out for almost an hour. Even though it was gray, it was still early and sort of quiet, so I ended up running 25 min and walking about 27 or so. I did my pushups but it was hard. I was so sore from waterskiing the day prior that I barely squeezed out the Day 1 requirements. Ouch!!

This morning I got up at 5:45 and hit the gym--30 minutes on the Arc Trainer and some stretching. I had a nice bowl of Nature's Path Flax Plus flakes with a cup of blueberries on top. Yum!

I discovered that my new camera came with no memory card, so on the way in to work I stopped at J&R and got a 4GB memory card. So pictures should be forthcoming! If I'd had it this morning I could have photographed my breakfast.

Busy week and then vacation next week!